How do I love thee NOT?

I don't think there is much to rejoice these days when we read the local news. Perhaps we should just quit reading the newspapers altogether. Then we will feel more like we are citizens of this country that we love and perhaps we will respect the governing body more. But with each dawning day, one can't help but feel a little bit more disillusioned. Another ideal bites the dust!

Here is a satirical spin to Elizabeth Barrett Browning's (1806-1861) poem, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

How do I love thee NOT? Let me count the ways.

I love thee NOT for the slipping ranks of the graft index
Where the filthy rich gets richer without paying tax
Where councillors build "palaces" without approval
And got away with resignations and mere disapproval

I love thee NOT for the way the ASLI report was being handled
Where the core issues were dismissed and were not being tackled
Where politicians sparked off a racial storm with their verbal diarrhea
Over the much beleaguered, much debated rising bumi percentages

I love thee NOT for the levels of issues raised
Where every issue becomes a matter of race
From meritocracy in education to double festive celebration
Is this how we are going to build a strong nation?

I love thee NOT to the depths of the stupid remarks made
By seemingly moronic reps that form the government parade
But worse it is when spouted by an "Oxford graduate"
Remorseless he was in his insinuation that sparked off a racial debate.

I love thee NOT for countless other transgressions
The latest being the issue of Bangsa Malaysia
Yet, like a battered wife I return for more transgressions
And like an addict, I love thee with an unexplainable passion.

Battle of the sexes or the wits?

I was running through some of my old writings today and came across this interesting exchange which I had with an ex-colleague a few years back. I remembered the fun I had writing it and thought to share this. Enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------
Main characters:
Lord Clarance Sashi ~ denoted by the acronym Lord C
Lady Leanne ~ denoted by the acronym Lady L

End credit commentator:
Mun Keong Esq. ~ denoted by the acronym MK Esq.

Let the battle begin ...


Lord C:
No one can explain but try they can
How God created this marvel called "MAN"

Lady L:
Hear ye! Hear ye! Ye delusional Man
Lord praise be for thy creation of WOMAN

Lord C:
HE created man first with all his best
HE then made woman with what was left!

Lady L:
God created man first I am sure we all agree
HE then made woman and improve a zillion degrees

Lord C:
"Perfection," women say, "is hard to find"
But only if you look through womenkind

Lady L:
"Perfection" in men is certainly hard to find
But in abundance when it comes to womenkind

Lord C:
To be honest, perfection cannot be found
But the male species is the closest around

Lady L:
A broken record I do so hate to sound
But alas! delusional man, there are plenty around

Lord C:
Look at a man from head to toe
and then my dear, perfection you will know

Lady L:
O! Imperfect men, you ain't women's foe
We can't help it if our perfect visage simply glow

Lord C:
The visage of women do glow that I agree
But without make-up, no such glow you will see

Lady L:
Make-up is just the tip of what makes a woman glow
What matters is the inner beauty that really shows

Lord C:
Men explored the earth and civilised the land
and now you women enjoy the conquests of men

Lady L:
Violence and war, that's the way of men
Gentleness and faith, that's the soft touch of women

Lord C:
The soft touch of a woman sure does good
But only in terms of satisfying the manhood

Lady L:
Bedroom and boardroom, woman all "sapu"
Woe to the man who thinks he is being "ampu"

Lord C:
Man don't cry as GOD made them strong
To defend the weak and right the wrong

Lady L:
Tears do not weaken a woman
Apathy do not strengthen a man

Lord C:
Apathy and strength is never the same
Men do shed tears but never in vain

Lady L:
Ah ... I suddenly note a change in the breeze
Man finally admit to shedding tears, gee wheez!

Lord C:
He won't let emotions run his life
Cause that's the job GOD gave his wife!

Lady L:
Emotions does not mean the mind is ruled by the heart
It merely means the mind sees clearer with the heart

Lord C:
Emotional decisions can ruin ones mind
And is a common problem with womenkind!

Lady L:
Wonder why man do so fear emotions
Would he go insane, oh what a silly notion

Lord C:
He is MAN and that is what he will be
He will work hard to feed his family

Lady L:
She is WOMAN and that she shall stay
But it does not mean to Man she will always fall prey

Lord C:
She won't always fall prey but fall she will
She can't help herself for he is her world!

Lady L:
Gone are the days where Man rules the world
Alas! He is mistaken if he still believes he rules the world

Lord C:
Of the load he carries he will not complain
He'll carry it in silence and bear the pain

Lady L:
We ain't at war here, that's not the case
We can't help it if you fall for our face

Lord C:
Fall for her face, that's alright for a start
But a man truly falls after seeing her heart

Lady L:
Hmmm ... finally a wise statement from the MAN
Bet you it's all due to the touch of a WOMAN. :)

Lord C:
For the gift of man, you should thank GOD
For without him, I'm sure you would be bored

Lady L:
For the presence of Woman spices your life
Without which Man will find it difficult to thrive

Lord C:
Spice up our life, you truly wish
But too much spice makes you puke in a dish

Lady L:
Thus it takes a strong man to bear what she can dish
That's such a rarity but is what women wish!

Lord C:
So I would advise you to pray till your final hour
That you would get some of Man's wisdom and power.

Lady L:
If wisdom and power is so sought by Man
Think how far a woman's love can heel a man

Lord C:
Wisdom and power is not sought by man
It is bestowed as part of GOD's plan
So dear woman, let's just make things right
Adore your man for it's futile to fight.

Lady L:
Ahh .. GOD's divine plan for humankind
Is not about battles, is not about war
If you think this is a fight, you must be blind
Coz we women make love, not war!

MK Esq:
At the end of the day
Leanne and Sashi
Will get mushy
Proving once again, HE works in mysterious ways!

Dedicated to you, Mom

With you,
We walked with pleasure through our childhood path
We have certainly felt your wrath.

With you,
We learned that your anger showed that you care
Not that you were unfair.

With you,
We went through thick and thin
And definitely through sick and sin.

With you,
We learned to differentiate right from wrong
And to be always strong.

With you,
We took our very first step
Gained confidence and adapt.

With you,
We acquired knowledge and intelligence
We promise not to pay you with belligerence.

With you,
We feel special, happy and loved
Certainly we return that love.

Therefore mom,
You are not just all nor are you just one
You ARE our number One!

A Tribute to You, Dear Dad

Without your anger and punishment when we are bad,
Without your silent concern and worries when we are sad,
Without your joy and happiness when we have succeeded instead,
Without your understanding and encouragement when we've failed you dad.

Without your love and without you dear dad,
We would not be so happy, contented and well-fed,
To have you here with us makes us so very glad,
And we thank GOD each day for making you our dad.

What happened at Midnight?

Midnight strikes
Chatters delight
Target in sight
Take aim, focus, fire!

Target sought
Chatter caught
Ahh … the morning dawns
What happened at midnight?

Strangers or friends

Across the cluttered cyberspace they met
Drawn together by mere words across the net
Strangers with no faces, words with no sound
Only with thoughts and ideas, they are bound.

Minutes become hours, hours become days
They learn about each other in this funny place
They know virtually nothing, yet they know everything
Are they merely joking, or is this the real thing?

Is everything only virtual and surreal?
Is nothing exchanged true and real?
Is the fantasy a reality, or the reality a fantasy?
Strangers or friends, is the definition that easy?

What is the meaning of life?

Why is everyone these days
busy doing something?
busy going somewhere?
hurrying to be or to find somebody?

Does this mean that
if they have something?
if they are or have somebody?
then they have meaning in life?

Why can’t anyone
try doing nothing?
try being nobody?
try going nowhere?

Does this mean that
they are nothing?
they are nobody?
there is no meaning to life?

Strange isn’t it that
we have to have something,
we have to be or have somebody,
before there is a meaning to life.

Next time try doing nothing
try being nobody
try going nowhere
and yet find a meaning to life!

(NB: That's it! Signs of a derange mind! :P)