The Lake House

"How do you hold on to someone you've never met?"
"What if you found the one you were meant for... but you lived 2 years apart?"

This was the premise of the movie, The Lake House.


I confessed that originally, I was extremely curious about the movie from the scientific angle. I wondered how they could explain away the time travel or time split bits. Certainly, I am no Albert Einstein nor Steven Hawkings but I like a good time travel theory as much as the next person.

BUT, if you go into the movie with the sole expectation to find a rational or at least a semi rational explanation for this interesting premise, you'd be sorely disappointed as no reference was made to that at all.

BUT, if you go into the movie and suspend logic for two hours, you just might be charmed by this tale of love and romance across time.

Based on the Korean movie Siworae (2000), the gist of the story is as follows ...

A lonely doctor, Kate (Sandra Bullock) who once occupied an unusual lakeside home begins exchanging love letters with its newest resident, a frustrated architect Alex (Keanu Reeves). But there's a catch! They are both living two years apart i.e. Alex lives in the year 2004 and Kate in the year 2006. Strangely enough, Kate and Alex had met in the past but it was not a memorable moment in her life then. However, the journey of self discovery, connection and romance that followed is one of the most touching ones that I have ever seen. And though at times, the movie can get a bit draggy, those moments were important in building the characters and carrying the plot to its finale.

Call me a sentimental fool but I couldn't quite get the movie out of my mind since I watched it last Saturday. I am not sure what has so drawn me to the movie. Perhaps it's the simple yet complex plot, or perhaps it is the chemistry between both the lead characters (although I often find Keanu's acting a little stiff), or perhaps it is the curiousity to discover how the lead characters manage to overcome the time issue, etc. It sure had me rooting for the two lead characters and for once, I was also rooting for a Hollywood ending.

But what makes the movie magical and memorable could also be drawn to one particular scene from the movie. In the words of a reviewer, Jon H Ochiai from Los Angeles, CA, ...

In a great scene from "The Lake House", Kate Forster (Sandra Bullock) tells Alex Wyler (Keanu Reeves) what she loves about Jane Austen's "Persuasion". What Kate loves about the book is that love can occur at the wrong time, and even when the characters wait it doesn't work out. Alex again inquires why it is Kate's favorite. Kate laughs. Magical chemistry. This is part of the brilliant charm of Director Alejandro Agresti's "The Lake House". It is a touching and funny love story about Kate's conceit that you wait for the right time and for the right one. Those familiar with the movie's trailer know that in the story by David Auburn (based on previous work by Eun-Jeong Kim and Ji-na Yeo) that time is the insurmountable obstacle posed to Alex and Kate.

Makes one wonders if there were moments in our past that we have missed. A missed romance? A missed opportunity? Perhaps I should also read the book mentioned in the movie; Persuasion by Jane Austen. I am rambling here. Hahaha ... I have my lapses. I am a sentimental fool.

Alrighty, I shall write and say no more.

Go for the movie and judge for yourself.

My favourite quotes from the movie:

[from trailer]
Kate: [voice over] Ridiculous. For argument's sake, what day is it there?
Alex: April 14th, 2004.
Kate: No. It's April 14th, 2006.
Alex: It's the same day two years apart.

[from trailer]
Kate: It's kind of a long distance relationship.

[from trailer]
Henry Wyler: Do you have a girlfriend?
Alex: Uh, you're going to think I'm crazy.

[from trailer]
Alex: She's more real to me than anything I've ever known.

[from trailer]
Kate: One man I can never meet. Him, I would like to give my whole heart to.

The Lake House Trailer

The Lake House (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) - Rachel Portman

There were two memorable songs from the movie soundtrack i.e.

1. This Never Happened Before - Paul McCartney (which I can't seem to find from the net) and,
2. Somewhere Only We Know - Keane (which I have downloaded for your listening pleasure)

Somewhere Only we Know - Keane LIVE!!!


I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

(break)

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

HmmmaaaAAAA.....Ahhhoooooo....

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

Graduation Day!

I DID IT!

I didn't think I'd finally pull it off! There were moments I swear I almost gave up on writing my dissertation. I even wrote a poem on my dissertation blues! It was just too time consuming and I was just too tired juggling between work and research. I thought I'd just graduate with a post graduate diploma instead. But luckily, I persevered. I suppose the difficult part is in getting started on the writing. But once we overcome that obstacle, the rest is a lot easier!

Now, after 4 years 12 modules and one dissertation later, I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel! Wahoo! Most of the folks during my batch and the batch after me have already graduated. But I really took my time. I confessed I really enjoyed the whole programme except for the final part of writing the dissertation. It takes a lot of discipline to sit down and read and summarise and think. Oh well, that's all in the past now.

Another year, another milestone. Although I did not really plan on attending my graduation earlier, it didn't take much persuasion from my parents to do so. And I was one lucky gal as a few friends and my entire family braved the long distance to get there. My family lost their way in the process while my friends accompanied me and faced off hunger pangs and boredom while awaiting my family to find their way to the campus. All in all, it was a great day although I was absolutely pooped in the end.

Thanks folks for coming to the event. It meant a whole lot to me!

We finally made it!


What would graduation be without the traditional mortar board throwing shot! And there they go ... up, up and away!



And what were my friends doing while I sweat it out in the "monkey" costume? Let's take a look.

All: Take our photo! Forget about Leanne. She has enough shots already!:p


Derek: AHAHAHAHAHA .... That's wayyyy tooo farnie!


Alex: Watcha' looking at?


Me: Hey! Look! Look! The SIAMESE TWINS ... NOT!


Me: Now, open mouth and show me your pearly white teeth!


Val: Did you see that dude? Phooey! Way cool man!
LK: Which one?
Val: That one with that large soulful eyes!
He just walked pass not 5 mins ago!
PW: Which one?
Val: ..... blah blah blah blah ...


Val: Aiyoyo! Enough already la! Is she still taking pictures? I'm hungry!


Val: I'm hungry!
PW: Me too!
Derek: Me three!
LK: Let's have ikan bakar!


Me: Sorry folks. Forgot to take the ikan picture. Took the mutton instead.

Pussycat Dolls PCD World Tour 2006 "live" concert in Malaysia

We found out a friend was organising the above concert recently. And by sheer luck (and thick skin), I managed to get two free tickets to the concert.

Another friend who also received two free tickets ended up not going because he didn't know who the PCDs are. Talk about NOT knowing what he is missing! His last words to me, "go along and play with the kids tonight". Hahaha ...

Another friend asked me if I have mid-life crisis. Hmmm ... from listening to PCD? Does being over 30 mean we only listen to 80s and 90s music? I would have thought music is universal and surpasses age, race and language barriers.

In any case, the dolls were HOT! HOT! HOT!

But alas, I was very late for the concert. Luckily it started late and I merely missed the opening act and 1 PCD song (was told it was Buttons). The venue of the concert at Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach was also quite unconventional. At least for me! We were literally standing on sand while swaying to the beat of the PCD songs. But as we were standing quite far away from the stage and it was too hot to wedge ourselves among the crowd, we couldn't quite feel the 'beat' of the concert. I couldn't quite see the dolls from where I stand and thus was looking at the huge screen most of the time. After awhile, I was wondering what I was doing there. It would have been better to stay in the comfort of my home with a glass of wine in hand and sway to their music. :)

All in all, the concert was just alright. As they have only one album, they performed all my favourite songs i.e. Sway, Don't Cha and Beep. Loved the tongue-in-cheek lyrics of the latter two. However, the concert was too short (i.e. 1 hour) to rush all the way from KL to Sunway.

Frankly, the next concert I go to, I should either be up front near the stage or I stay home and watch.

Dont Cha - Pussy Cat Dolls

Single - Natasha Bedingfield

I will take a break from the final part of Steve Jobs speech for this interesting song. :)

I was driving to work today and caught this catchy number over the Fly FM airwaves. The lyrics seem most appropriate and I wish to dedicate it to all my single friends out there!

Ladies, enjoy your singlehood and be groovy! Oh Yeah!

Natasha Bedingfield - Single (UK version)


Intro:-

Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you
Yeah

Verse 1:-
I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me, whole

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't

Chorus:-
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star is in the ascendance

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be

Yeah, uh huh, that's right

Verse 2:-
Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love cause I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just cause you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood

ooohh yeah

Chorus:-
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star is in the ascendance

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
That's how I wanna be
(Right Now)
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
(Right Now )
I'm single, oh oh ooh

Verse 3:-
Everything in its right time
Everything in its right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way...
It's my way
Eh, I like it this way, eh

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
'Til then I'm single

Chorus:-
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star is in the ascendance

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places (Right now a star)
Right now a star is in the ascendance

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna
I'm single woooh

Part 2 ~ Don’t Settle

Don’t you just hate it when you meet people who know exactly what they want from life and exactly where they want to go? For example, they would have their entire life mapped out for themselves in terms of personal and career i.e. when to get married and have the first kid; when they would become manager and director of a company; when they want to make their first million, etc. Yes! I have friends like that in varsity days and yes, a few of them are doing very well in life now.

Perhaps hate is too strong a word. Don’t you simply feel envious of these people who seemed so sure and confident of themselves as they trudge forward in the path of life while you struggle to come to terms with who you are and what you want from life?

The second story from Steve Jobs’ speech at Stanford University addressed this issue.

From the mouth of Steve Jobs:

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents’ garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired.

How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out.

When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking.

Don't settle.

As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it.

Don't settle.

~~~~~ To be continued ~~~~~

Whilst most of my friends stayed on at one or two jobs or at most three and built their careers with these companies, I have changed a total of 6 jobs in the span of 11 years of working. It was never part of my grand plan in life to move so frequently. I am cognizant of the fact that a rolling stone carries no moss. I badly wanted to stay on at one job and build my career, but it was never meant to be.

Part of the problem was me. I was always looking for a challenge. I hated routine and which job didn’t become routine after awhile? I did not want to settle in a job where I feel no passion for it. After all, I probably spent 60% of my waking hours at work. And I figured I darn well better enjoy it! The other part of the problem was the circumstances that befell me. In one instance I was retrenched and in another, the company wound up.

Be that as it may, being retrenched was never a great feeling. No doubt you get a chunk of money from your employer. However, you can’t help but feel like a failure in some ways. Even after you moved on, the stigma still remained and it would take months to regain your level of confidence. But as in the case of Steve Jobs, being retrenched was probably one of the best things that happened in my life. It moved me away from a situation of contentment and complacency and put me right back into the race to fight for something I feel passionate about.

What I have learned in the corporate world is that there is no such thing as long term employment. Restructuring comes and goes. Bosses come and go. One has to learn to roll with the punches. But the one important thing I learnt about myself is that I have to feel passionate about what I do and enjoy my work. The day I quit doing so would be the day I would look elsewhere to paddle my wares.

And as in work, life and matters of the heart, the words from Steve Jobs ring true, “Don’t Settle.” I have yet to do so though the pressure has been great in recent years. My creed in life for so long has been to do something because I feel the passion and the joy for it, not because society demanded it of me.

Marching to the tune of a different drummer is not easy. Sometimes we falter because settling for something is always the easiest solution. In matters of the heart, there is a constant fear that we would settle due to the constant urging of good meaning samaritans who believe in conforming to society’s time line of getting married and having kids. I certainly hope not.

I shall keep the words of Steve Jobs close to my heart.

You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking.
Don't settle.

As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it.
Don't settle.

Yes! Don’t settle.

P.S. Look out for Part 3 – Death

Part 1 ~ Connecting the Dots

Recently, a friend forwarded me an email on a simple but yet meaningful speech given by Steve Jobs (to the uninitiated, Apple Computer CEO) at Stanford University on June 12th 2005. I thought to share it with you as the speech “spoke” to me on so many levels.

The following is a transcription of that speech, which I will break up into 3 blog postings i.e. one story for each posting.

From the mouth of Steve Jobs:

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college.

Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation.

Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal.

Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit.

So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5' deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on.

Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life.

But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

~~~~~ To be continued ~~~~~

I remembered my first major interview with the folks from Effem Foods (the company that produce Mars and Snickers, M&M’s, Pedigree, Whiskas, etc.) I had graduated recently and had only one year of working experience behind me. I was among eight final candidates vying for a position in Effem Foods.

In those days, interviews to get into corporations like these were long, drawn-out one-and-a-half to two-day affairs. We had to go through various written tests (which encompassed multiple choice questions, written essays, calculations and questions on general knowledge), performed five-minute impromptu individual presentations to the panel of interviewers, put through various group dynamic tests and of course, a final sit down dinner at the end of the interview to test our social etiquette.

After going through the battery of tests, I figured I’d most likely get the job; except for one person standing in my way i.e. this other Chinese chap. He oozed self confidence in every sense of the word but he had one major flaw ~ he never listened to anyone and was opinionated on everything to the verge of annoyance. (Note: I could be biased since I was vying for the same position.)

In any case, “gwei los” (who happened to form part of the interview panel) have a tendency to admire self-confidence in a person. Not that I lack any; just that I do not come across so strongly ~ if you know what I mean. Anyway, we had to go through a final group dynamic test where all the eight candidates were secluded in a room and were given a task to come up with a solution for a case study within a stipulated time. There were “examiners” observing our behaviour while we discussed the case study and arrived at a solution.

I was pretty sure that I had bagged the job the moment this test was presented to us. Why? Because as usual, Mr Oozing-with-Self-Confidence had his say and pretty much shut everyone up because he thought he knew what the best solution was. I watched his antics with glee as I knew the purpose of the test was not the solution in itself but how a leader manage his team and provide a platform for everyone to say his/her piece before arriving at a solution. And I believe I passed this test with flying colours and ousted my strongest contender for the position. As they say, the rest was history.

One may ask, what did this have anything to do with connecting the dots?

Well, during my varsity years, I was deeply involved with this student organisation called AIESEC. I spent a lot of time and effort with the organisation that in some ways, I neglected my family and my studies. Often, my parents questioned me on my time spent in this organisation and what I hoped to achieve out of it. Well, other than the fun, the games and the networking, I learned about handling group dynamics. We organised and attended lots of sessions on the above. One of which was the same test that I went through in my interview in Effem Foods.

And that was how and why I knew I had the edge over the rest to win the job at the end of the day. It was nothing as ground breaking as what Steve Jobs did with the Mac but if you had asked me at that point in time what I hoped to achieve from joining AIESEC, my reply would have been fun, games and networking. Little did I know that it would have helped me succeed in getting the highly sought after job with Effem Foods later on.

As Steve Jobs said,
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

I shall leave the above for you to ponder over.

P.S. Look out for Part 2 – Don’t Settle

Bad Day

Bad Day - Daniel Powter


I love this song and finally found the lyrics.

Song lyrics

Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out
Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that
Strong
Well I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does it feel, one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

World Cup Lessons

Yes! I did finally get into the World Cup Fever, beginning from the quarterfinal matches. Sadly, my samba boys (Brazil) did not clear their quarterfinal match and allowed the Frenchies to stride into the semis and then the finals. Neither did my German cuties made it to the finals. A very sad World Cup Finals for me indeed.

But the match that left the strongest impression on me (I didn't watch that many matches after all) was the one between Germany and Italy. Their match was tied at 0-0 right up to the 29th minute of extra time and suddenly the Italians scored two goals straight! What a waste!

Lessons Learned:

Lesson 1
No matter how vigilant we are, the moment we relax our defences, our competitors will find the crack and hit us where it hurts. Witness the Germany versus Italy match.

Lesson 2
It doesn't matter if you are a legend. You butt (headbutt), you pay (red card)! Poor Zidane. What a way to go.

Lesson 3
When in Europe, the Europeans will triumph.

Lesson 4
Everyone's an expert on football. From beauty queens to sexy teens. From mat motor to pak mamak.

Lesson 5
Football fans become nocturnal animals. Comatose by day, vampires by night.

Lesson 6
Not hitting sales targets? Reason: everybody's too busy watching World Cup to stimulate the economy!

Lesson 7
The less you know about football, the higher the chances of winning your bets!

Lesson 8
World Cup is more popular than Wimbledon!

Lesson 9
Late to work? Blame it on World Cup!

Lesson 10
It doesn't matter if everyone lies. You can be sure of one thing. Your hips don't lie! :p

Here's to my samba boys!

Hips Don't Lie

Are you lonesome tonight?

Akon - Lonely



Lonely a. solitary, isolated; (sad because) companionless
Company n. being with another or others
Companion n. one who accompanies or associates with another
Source: The Little Oxford Dictionary

I recently heard that a friend of mine is getting registered for marriage. Strangely enough, she was crying with tears of misery when she told this to another friend. She was happily into this comfortable relationship and would have continued with the status quo if she had not been pressured to choose either marriage or nothing at all. Fearing the loss of the companionship and loneliness, she succumbed in misery. Is loneliness reason enough to get married?

A couple of weeks back, another friend had to face the reality that the four-year “on-again off-again” flirtation she had with this guy might not go anywhere. She was devastated. And during one of her low moments, she said, “I don’t want to grow old and lonely. But I fear that in order to avoid doing that I might one day succumb into a relationship with a married man.” Is loneliness reason enough to get into a complicated relationship?

There’s this story I heard about a chatter who goes on dates with guys she met online and because she wanted/ needed the “love” and companionship, she was willing to sleep with these guys on their first dates. Sadly, at the time of the telling, she had not found one willing to go the whole nine yards i.e. red picket fences and the little house on the prairie. (Story is hearsay and unverified.) Is loneliness reason enough to sleep around?

A friend once asked me if I am lonely or if I fear loneliness. I answered; of course I get lonely sometimes. Don’t we all? It is not necessary to be alone to feel lonely. We could be among a sea of faces and still feel lonely. But I have learned that loneliness hits when our emotional well being is at its worst or when we have long periods of idleness or aimlessness. And we have no one to talk to about that. After all, an idle mind is a devil’s playing field.

Do I fear loneliness? I have not given that much thought. Perhaps because I live a reasonably good and fulfilling life; with a family who loves me and friends who keeps my life interesting and exciting.

“But your friends won’t be with you forever. They would eventually settle down, get married, have kids and live a life of their own,” my friend persisted. “You don’t want to grow old alone do you?”

Hmmm … now that’s food for thought. Not that I have not considered this aspect before. But getting married and having kids do not guarantee that we would not end up alone and lonely. After all, there are no guarantees in life. Here today, gone tomorrow. Who knows? *shrugs*

Should fear of loneliness spur us into relationships that we do not want or are not healthy for us? To what lengths would we go to avoid loneliness?

I would like to think that I would grow old surrounded by friends and family; whether I am married or not. And I would expect I will extend the same support and friendship to my friends and family.

Perhaps that’s the eternal optimist in me!

The Perfect Man

The following missive arrived at my inbox one fine day.

As Kyle's life and career coach I actively encourage him to seek out new opportunities and nurture productive relationships with other people. One recent initiative he's taking is looking for a life partner. To facilitate his search, I've ... blah blah blah

PL, please advise when you've written the personal ad for him on your blog.

Best wishes,
Kyle’s life & career coach


The thing about my life is that I have really interesting (read whacky) friends. Never a dull moment, eh? Hehehehe … In this case, I have been tasked with a heavy responsibility to create a personal ad for this friend, Kyle. And for the sake of his future, I dare not fail. (I shall ignore the fact that I had joked and volunteered for this during one of our trekking trips.) I hope I still have two friends after this. No regrets Kyle & Kyle’s coach. Regrets are for sissies! :p

I ain’t no personal ad writer, so here goes nothing …


Kyle Seto
-------------------------------------

Canadian citizen, Chinese born,
Canadian accent but he ain’t no blond.

A rojak influence of East and West,
Dare I claim that he comes from the best?

A steady income, a noble profession,
In education, he shares his passion.

House keeping skills, that’s a probability,
Green card options, perhaps a possibility.

Not too young, not too old,
Just ngam ngam thirty five years old.

Not too tall, not that short,
No bag of bones, certainly not bald!

Cutesy in purple, snazzy in blue,
Watch out for the smile that he flashes you.


Cutesy in Purple ...


Snazzy in Blue ...

Is he what you are looking for?
If yes, then wait no more!

The queue is long, the time is short,
His fans are beating down his “fort”.

Clear your calendar, book his time,
Catch this social butterfly at his prime,

Quick! Drown him with photos, drop him a line,
Grab this perfect man for he is a real find!

------------- The End -------------

From the creative juices of Leanne’s shrinking muse

P.S. Hey Kyle, if this really works for you, I get finder's fee ok. You better make it a huge one! :P

For Money or for …

Career.
Happiness.
Job Satisfaction.
Security.
Etc., etc.
What do we work for?

These thoughts have been on my mind a lot lately. Not because I am in a dilemma (although it’s worth taking stock of our situation every now and then) but because the people within my circle of influence are.

My eldest sister for instance, finally handed in her resignation, after much prodding from us. It is not because she dislikes her work; it is because of the untenable company system she works within which she has tried to change but failed in the last few years. She has finally given up on hitting her head against the brick wall.

My younger sister on the other hand has an opportunity to move to a position that she has dreamed of for a long while but … she has to sacrifice quite a large sum of her current fringe benefits to attain what she wants. We shall await her final decision.

My cousin, who has just graduated and joined the rat race, has resigned after a month in a research company and returned to the world of academics as a lecturer. Many would have said that career wise; it’s not such a good move. But knowing my cousin, the job of a lecturer would probably be perfect for him. His musings on education can be found here in his blog.

Then, there’s this friend, who has recently given up on a cushy job and decided to work full time as a gym instructor.

And another friend who has refused to take up a high paying job with an investment company in KL because it would mean she has to uproot herself from her comfort zone in Penang.

One friend, despite her unhappiness, has not moved from her job because she wishes to complete her MBA first.

There are two Canadian friends who have forsaken better remuneration lecturing elsewhere for an experience to work in Malaysia.

And if I dig deep enough in my memory bank, there would be many more instances and examples.

What really motivate all of them? Obviously not merely money.

For me, remuneration would always be part of the total package but it is not THE top priority. After all, I have taken a tremendous pay cut to join a dotcom company once upon a time. Job satisfaction, social circle, company culture, company politics, and remuneration ~ all these play a part in the final decision.

My philosophy is simple. There is no perfect job (at least not within the realm of my experience) and there is no perfect company. When I am very unhappy and dissatisfied with the job and/or company, I’ll go through the following line of thought.

“Can I change the situation? If yes, I stay. If no, then … can I change my attitude/ perception and accept the situation as is? If yes, I stay. If no, I’ll leave.”

Some say the reality is not as simple as that. Sometimes we are stuck with responsibilities that make leaving the job more difficult. (This is in situations where we do not have a better option.) But again, the choice is ours. We could sacrifice on certain part of our lifestyle if we really cannot stand the situation. Or if we really want to continue with our lifestyle (that clearly shows where our priority lies), we have to adjust our thoughts and attitude and accept/ tolerate the situation.

So perhaps, it is really that simple after all.

From the mouth of babies!

Recently, a friend forwarded me an email on letters from kids to God. I found the following letter and thought that it was a gem of a letter from just a kid. Profound isn't it?

kid's letter to god, originally uploaded by Leanne's shots.

Another failed attempt

Why am I blogging at 6 in the morning? Good question! It’s because this is the second failed attempt to go biking and I can’t go back to sleep.

Sometime back, a few of the siau gang considered going on a cross country road bike (as in bicycle) tour later in the year. Needless to say, I was tempted.

Nevermind that I didn’t own a bike.

Nevermind that I might not have enough leave to go on a cross country road tour.

Nevermind that I am not an RPM fan in the gym and that those who are planning to go are either RPM instructors or RPM hardcore riders.
(Note: To the uninitiated, RPM is a cardio class offered in the gym where one spends 45 minutes on a stationary bike simulating hill rides and races.)

“After all, what the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.” Yeah! Yeah! Will have to relook at this quote later. :P

Just a couple of weeks back, the siau gang decided that the first trial would be to cycle to Port Dickson and back. Now, that is over 100kms one way. I was sceptical. First attempt for a non RPM goer and a non biker. That’s like committing physical suicide! :p It’s a little over the top even for me. So, we decided to go on a short trial ride to Bukit Jalil and back. I am told that it’s about 20kms but I stand corrected.

And thus, a couple of weeks back, I went to a bike shop to borrow a bike to go riding with these siau friends of mine the next day. The guy at the shop took one look at me and said that he did not have a bike my size on loan. Ehhh … to the unitiated, a bike my size would mean a smaller frame. After all, not everyone is born to be more than 5.5 footers!

What to do? No bike and I desperately wanted to try biking again. My first attempt was in 2002 and I have been considering this sport ever since. However, I resisted as I did not want another “white elephant” in my “closet”.

I digress. In any case, I made a rash decision and bought a spunky new bike! I blew RM1,300 on it and another RM470 on accessories. Yup! Rash decision it was. But look at my spunky new bike. He’s a darling, ain’t he? :D


My new baby!

Peik Lean Y.

I am now fully equipped to go biking!

Unfortunately, the next morning dawned cloudy and rainy. And it rained and rained and rained. Thus the trip was cancelled. The next few attempts were not as disappointing as I did not have to get up as early as 5.30 am to have it cancelled again.

But today … well, another failed attempt! :( The only male member in today’s riding trip is down with a sore throat and had to opt out. After hearing all the scary stories about women biking on their own, we decided to call it off again until we get more male muscle to join the trip. Sigh! At this rate, I fear my bike is gonna be another white elephant.

Oh well, what the mind can conceive, the body can achieve. I just have to keep bugging my siau friends to fulfil this part of the bargain. Hahahaha …

Dang! And it’s such a beautiful looking morning too!

When ignorance is not bliss!!!

Warning: This post is neither politically correct nor diplomatically written. It may be offensive to some and vulgar to others. Therefore, read at your own peril. If you can’t take it, ditch it!

Safe sex and preventive measures ~ who is responsible? Do we even know what that entails?

Recently, a friend broached the subject and I was a little shock at her ignorance and blind trust. She left it entirely to her boyfriend to take care of the matter. (As the relationship has only recently developed and he is rather the dark horse, there was some cause for concern.) He told her that she would be safe as long as he ejaculates outside her womb. As she was told the same thing by another friend, she felt safe. I was appalled.

In this time and age, pregnancy is only one concern; the other concern is the number of diseases a person can contract if her lover had indiscriminate sex prior to that. Thus, it is important to at least try to find out where his “dipstick” had … well, dipped. Otherwise, check if he had a recent health check and been pronounced “clean” by the doc. Ultimately, if all else fails and one must still get on with it, then using a prophylactic would likely be the safest.

Ejaculation outside the womb at the end does not mean that leakage would not happen while in the process. And to paraphrase the following line “a single drop of water and the desert blooms”, well we could literally say “a sheer drop of semen and your womb blooms!” Dramatic as that might sound, it is always better to be safe than sorry. There is a Cantonese saying that is very appropriate, “mmm pah yat maan, hai pah maan yat!” Translated, it means “fear not of the 10,000 consequences but be fearful of that ONE out of the 10,000 consequences!”

Being a woman is no excuse to be ignorant about sex and its consequences. It is no excuse for women to leave the preventive measures solely to men. Because ultimately, the person who stands to lose the most is the woman.

Sex education … It’s no more a matter of should we or should we not. It’s a matter of when. It’s appalling how ignorant we are and that is not limited to teens. Being pious and religious is no excuse to be ignorant. Being part of the decision makers on education and censorship policies is no excuse to bury our heads in the sand like an ostrich. We could no longer pretend that if we do not talk about sex, write about sex, watch sexual acts and teach about sex, we would not have sex! Just like if we do not teach the young preventive measures, they would not have sex! Ridiculous as that may sound, that’s precisely what the actions taken by certain powers that be are propagating.

But the power is in our hands; especially when it concerns our ultimate well-being. Do not leave it to others to dictate our own safety because ultimately, ignorance is NOT bliss!

Dad & Mom, I have not said “thank you” enough.

A recent event triggered this post. How often do we take our parents for granted? And yet do we realise how often their actions have our best interests at heart; whether we appreciate it or not?

Sometime last year, we decided to purchase a new car for our parents. We felt we are financially stable enough to withstand paying off another loan and since this one would be shared among the three of us, we encouraged our parents to get a better car. Suffice to say they started to worry that this purchase would be a huge burden to us, even before they placed a booking.

After some nagging, they finally took the plunge. But then we discovered yesterday that when they calculated the repayment value, they included a portion to be paid off by them. When asked why, mom replied, “Your dad and I feel guilty about burdening all of you with a huge loan repayment. You have other responsibilities and commitments.”

Consider this; my parents were the ones who helped us get started when we first graduated by paying a large down payment for our first cars. And now, they who are pensioners and are getting a monthly pittance from the government are willing to fork out money to pay a portion to lighten our supposed financial burden. I am humbled by that thought. Suffice to say, we talked them out of that hare brain scheme.

Looking back, there have been so many instances in our lives that they have sacrificed and influenced. If not for them, I might not have developed a love for reading which has allowed me to explore a whole new world. If not for them, I might not have known and appreciated the value of money. If not for them, I might not have learnt that there are values that one just can’t compromise. If not for them, I would not have challenged the status quo and pushed the limits of acceptance.

My parents brought us up on a government servant salary and while we have no trappings of great wealth, we grew up relatively comfortable, psychologically well-balanced and physically healthy. We are no rags-to-riches story but I am thankful to my parents because their influences have shaped my past and present, and they will hold me in good stead to face the future.

How often would you venture that our parents’ thoughts and worries are for us? How often do we show our appreciation in return? How often do we put their interests at heart? My struggle has always been to maintain a balance between what I want to achieve and what they need, and that has not been easy. Because when we get down to the bottom of it, all they ask for is our time and our presence. Is that too much to ask for? Probably not.

Dad & Mom, thank you and I am trying.

Of Gay and Lesbian relationships

There have been many conversations centred on gay and lesbian relationships (especially gay) since I met the siau gang. I could only accord the interest to several reasons. One, since we joined the gym, we have been exposed to a large number of gays who seemed quite obvious and open about their sexual preferences. Two, it is human nature to be curious about things we do not know and cannot comprehend. Three, the gang is curious enough to engage in open conversations on these relationships. When we say we are ok with these relationships, are we truly accepting them or are we merely paying lip service? After all, talk is cheap but do we walk the talk?

Two years ago, I was in London on a project which stretched over two weekends. Coincidentally, I spent one weekend with a gay friend and his partner, and the subsequent weekend with a lesbian friend and her partner. In my mind, I have never referred to them as that gay friend or that lesbian friend. They are just good friends of mine who have moved to live in a country that is more accepting of their sexual preferences and way of life. They have never made me uncomfortable before regarding their sexual preferences.

In any case, it was in London that I first spent more than a few hours in the presence of gay and lesbian couples. It was truly an eye opener. Knowing something about your friend is one thing. Seeing that something in action is an entirely different experience. There were no obvious moves but like any normal couple, there was a lingering touch here and an intimate look there.

The nature of these relationships truly hit home when during a conversation regarding my lesbian friend’s ex-husband (She once tried to lead a normal life; i.e. acquired a husband and the whole works but it didn’t work out!), her partner laughingly said, “But he has something that she doesn’t want.” The obvious reference to the male anatomy was not lost on me. And the seemingly innocuous remark stopped me in mid conversation for a few moments as I quickly recollected my thoughts. I hope I looked sufficiently blasé and did not gape like a fish. :p

The second incident was at the gay couple’s residence. We were watching a movie when a bed scene of a heterosexual couple appeared. The “female” gay partner suddenly remarked, “Look at those hanging boobs! It’s so disgusting!” And he promptly changed the channel. I was stunned for a moment and suddenly felt so inadequate about having boobs. Thinking back, it was hilarious. I was at a total lost for words and at that moment, I wished the earth would open up and swallow me whole.

My point, it is easy to say that we accept gay and lesbian relationships but when faced with the reality of those relationships, it is more difficult to handle and accept them. One of the siau gang recently caught the movie “Brokeback Mountain” and her comment was that she was uncomfortable with the scenes between the two gay lovers although these were only kissing scenes and there was no humping and pumping. She wanted to pass me the DVD but I was reluctant to take it. I told her that it’s because I couldn’t bear to watch such a manly guy like Heath Ledger playing a gay role. But could it be that I am, unconsciously, unable to accept such a relationship? Hmmm ….

I remembered watching “As Is”, a theatre production on a gay relationship, between characters played by Jit Murad and Zahim Albakri, more than a decade ago. It was a very controversial piece at a time when gay and lesbian relationships were not publicly discussed and HIV/ AIDS were universally feared. But it was a wonderful piece of work that probably changed some of my outlook on these relationships. A review of this play which was performed in another country can be found here.

I have walked through an entire emotional roller coaster with a friend who had to decide between conforming to norm by sticking to a heterosexual relationship or throwing caution to the winds and following her heart. It was no easy choice for her at that time and love is love irregardless of whether the relationship is hetero or homosexual. It doesn’t make watching her pain then any less real. And it doesn’t make watching her happiness now any less joyful. How then can I object to or censure such a relationship?

Yet having gone through all these experiences, I am still unsure of where I stand. A part of me (that part which was brought up in a convent school and was used to conforming to society) would like to take the moral high ground by saying that this is not normal! Another part of me (the one that has travelled much and had gone through that emotional roller coaster with a friend) feels compelled to defend these relationships. After all, they can’t help their sexual preferences.

Or can they?

I shall leave the morality issues to those who think they know better; because I know not. All I can do is to sigh with regret when I am told that a delicious-looking man that I have been eyeing is gay.

“Nothing that looks that good is straight!” A friend told me repeatedly.

Darn! Putus steam saje! And another one bites the dust! Life is tough. Not only are our choices dwindling fast but we have to “fight off” the womenfolk as well as the men folk. Who says life is fair? But despite all these trials and tribulations, I shall still stick to my personal motto, “a plug must go with a socket”! Hahaha …

Have a good day ahead!

YES! I DID IT AGAIN!

OK. Confession time. Part of the reason I was Missing In Action for so long was because I was also on vacation recently. And yes, I was up in the mountains seeking for my muse, my inspiration and another triumphant tale to tell.

Three years ago in May, a group of friends and I climbed Mount Kinabalu via Timpohon Gate, and we (the whole group) emerged triumphant.

A week plus ago, another group of friends and I climbed the mountain again, this time via Mersilau Trail. And this group too made it to the top!

Mount Kinabalu, the highest mountain in South East Asia, @ 4,095m! Three years might have passed, but the beauty of the mountain has not changed. Below are pictures from both occassions.

The journey up Mount Kinabalu via the Mersilau Trail, a week plus ago

Water falls found along the trail


Streams found along the trail


Bonsai Trees or Sayat-sayat along the trail


The Mersilau Trail joins the Timpohon Trail
about 2km before Laban Rata


Laban Rata


South Peak


At Low's Peak


Low's Gully



The journey up Mount Kinabalu via Timpohon Gate, three years ago

Sunrise at Low's Peak


At Low's Peak


St John's Peak

Time ~ those fleeting moments

I have been blog silent recently. My Slovenia account was stalled for awhile but I have just updated it. My apologies that it is slow in coming but it is after all at the mercy of my muse and of course, time!

Truly, being busy is only part of the reason that blogging has almost come to a halt. The other reason is that blogging has lost its initial lustre. More and more, I find myself struggling to prioritise my time between work, activities and the people who matter in my life. I wonder if it is only me that has this problem. Perhaps I am totally hopeless at time management.

Time flies, doesn’t it?

I just found out that an ex boss of mine has been posted to Taiwan. I have not met him for years. We have been talking about meeting up since forever but we never really got round to that. Now, he has already left for Taiwan.

Another friend called recently asking if I have dropped off the face of earth. The last I met her was just after she had given birth to her second kid at the end of last year. The kid could probably crawl by now.

How fleeting these moments are and how soon they are gone. It made me think perhaps I have not made as much of it as I should have.

How do you measure time?

I was chatting with a friend recently. His work is marked by the period of each contract and he just got into another three year project in Saudi Arabia. To him, time is measured in blocks of weeks that he gets to come back to Malaysia.

Another friend works as an engineer on a vessel. His job requires him to go out to sea for four months at a time. When he returns to land, he gets a four-month rest with absolutely nothing to do. For him, his time is measured in blocks of four months.

For me? Time seems to be immeasurable. I seem to fleet from one thing to another and before I know it, six months have passed. Somehow I find myself unable to take control of it.

Can you?

I leave you with this beautiful piece on …


Time
(from The Prophet)
by Khalil Gibran

And an astronomer said, 'Master, what of Time?'

And he answered:

You would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable.

You would adjust your conduct and even direct the course of your spirit according to hours and seasons.

Of time you would make a stream upon whose bank you would sit and watch its flowing.

Yet the timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness,

And knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream.

And that that which sings and contemplates in you is still dwelling within the bounds of that first moment which scattered the stars into space.

Who among you does not feel that his power to love is boundless?

And yet who does not feel that very love, though boundless, encompassed within the centre of his being, and moving not from love thought to love thought, nor from love deeds to other love deeds?

And is not time even as love is, undivided and paceless?

But if in you thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons,

And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.

The Project

When I first started blogging, the idea was to blog about my travels. But along the way, the project died down because it was such a huge undertaking. In any case, I promised myself I shall get right to it once I completed my studies. And so here they are.

Check them out on My Travel Experiences on the sidebar of this blog. Check out my first travellogue on my trip to Slovenia.