What happens when your male buddy becomes attach or gets married?

Or what happens when your male buddy is already attach or married?

The former means you know him before he got himself hitched or attached and the latter simply means you know him after he had done so.

Would the friendship just peter out and die?

I wish there is a guide book for this sort of situations. What are the Dos and Don’ts and how do we maintain peace in his household while we continue the friendship?

Buddy 1
I was having a nice Thai dinner with my male buddy when he received a call from his girlfriend who was residing in Australia. It seemed that she had waited for his call but the “dungu” fella forgot to call her. She threw a tantrum and threatened to break off when she found out that he was having a dinner for two with moi while she was patiently waiting by the phone for over an hour for his call. It wasn’t my fault as I was merely having dinner with my buddy (whom I knew before he got attached to her) but I was made to feel like the guilty party. Dang!

But thank god things worked out later and she is now his wife. She is now based in Chiengmai and he comes back to KL every now and then to visit his family. We do hang out but infrequently these days as I had to back off just in case the wife gets the wrong notion.

Buddy 2
The wife was my gym buddy and the husband, my squash and wine drinking buddy. Things were pretty cool until I found them arguing one day about whose turn it was to go out ~ gym or squash. Then she got pregnant and baby number two came along. I took up a new hobby i.e. mountain/ road biking which he was into as well. He then became my squash, biking and wine drinking buddy albeit irregularly. When I realised that some of those irregular times were infringing into his time to “jaga” his kids, I had to back off a lot more. These days my squash has deteriorated quite tremendously, my bike feels like a white elephant but the wine drinking part is still flourishing. However, I feel a lot easier (and safer to avoid misunderstandings) to text the wife for these get-together sessions.

Buddy 3
He was one of my best male buddies. And I had a shock discovery of him dating this girl during a dinner for three. (Sounds like ménage a trios NOT! :P) He said nothing but she was all over him, as if marking her territory. Boy! Needless to say it was an extremely uncomfortable dinner. I believe I could be scarred for life! :P Strangely enough, I had not realised then that I was a little possessive of the friendship.

So, I demanded the next day why I was not told beforehand and he answered that he didn’t know how to tell me and that it should not change our friendship. While agreeing that our friendship would not change, in my heart I knew I was telling a big fat lie. I tried really hard to keep things going but it is difficult when you don’t really know the girlfriend and the memory of those uncomfortable territory marking moments put you off further get-togethers. After awhile, the friendship died a natural death due to lack of nurturing. It’s a real pity.

So there! Stories of my three buddies; the second friendship is thriving, the first is surviving and the third is quite dead. I am still hunting for a guide to handle friendships with married or attach male buddies.

Any clues? Or is it a “Don’t go there!” territory?!