Are you lonesome tonight?

Akon - Lonely



Lonely a. solitary, isolated; (sad because) companionless
Company n. being with another or others
Companion n. one who accompanies or associates with another
Source: The Little Oxford Dictionary

I recently heard that a friend of mine is getting registered for marriage. Strangely enough, she was crying with tears of misery when she told this to another friend. She was happily into this comfortable relationship and would have continued with the status quo if she had not been pressured to choose either marriage or nothing at all. Fearing the loss of the companionship and loneliness, she succumbed in misery. Is loneliness reason enough to get married?

A couple of weeks back, another friend had to face the reality that the four-year “on-again off-again” flirtation she had with this guy might not go anywhere. She was devastated. And during one of her low moments, she said, “I don’t want to grow old and lonely. But I fear that in order to avoid doing that I might one day succumb into a relationship with a married man.” Is loneliness reason enough to get into a complicated relationship?

There’s this story I heard about a chatter who goes on dates with guys she met online and because she wanted/ needed the “love” and companionship, she was willing to sleep with these guys on their first dates. Sadly, at the time of the telling, she had not found one willing to go the whole nine yards i.e. red picket fences and the little house on the prairie. (Story is hearsay and unverified.) Is loneliness reason enough to sleep around?

A friend once asked me if I am lonely or if I fear loneliness. I answered; of course I get lonely sometimes. Don’t we all? It is not necessary to be alone to feel lonely. We could be among a sea of faces and still feel lonely. But I have learned that loneliness hits when our emotional well being is at its worst or when we have long periods of idleness or aimlessness. And we have no one to talk to about that. After all, an idle mind is a devil’s playing field.

Do I fear loneliness? I have not given that much thought. Perhaps because I live a reasonably good and fulfilling life; with a family who loves me and friends who keeps my life interesting and exciting.

“But your friends won’t be with you forever. They would eventually settle down, get married, have kids and live a life of their own,” my friend persisted. “You don’t want to grow old alone do you?”

Hmmm … now that’s food for thought. Not that I have not considered this aspect before. But getting married and having kids do not guarantee that we would not end up alone and lonely. After all, there are no guarantees in life. Here today, gone tomorrow. Who knows? *shrugs*

Should fear of loneliness spur us into relationships that we do not want or are not healthy for us? To what lengths would we go to avoid loneliness?

I would like to think that I would grow old surrounded by friends and family; whether I am married or not. And I would expect I will extend the same support and friendship to my friends and family.

Perhaps that’s the eternal optimist in me!