He says, she says … but what do I say?

My love life has been fodder for speculation for a while now. Therefore it is of no surprise to me to find out that that has been a topic of conversation even when it is out of my earshot. :p

Recently a friend told me about a conversation she had with another friend regarding my requirements for a man. It seemed that I am a “lost cause” as I am believed to have very high requirements for a man i.e. one who has a better job/ career than me, earns more than me, is better educated, etc., etc. Hahaha … What a perception! I now wonder what kind of vibes I have been sending out.

I recalled another conversation I had with another friend, who said in jest (or so I thought), “You have all the Cs (as in the 5Cs). So what do you need a man for?” I remember replying flippantly, “Hmm … companionship?”

Another friend believes that I need a man who is not around half the time and is willing to allow me my independence. One more believes that only “gwei los” would be a match in heaven for me. Yikes! That made me sound like a sarong party girl. One even went as far as to comment that the kind of man I look for is extinct but did not elaborate on what kind of man that is.

Hmmm … all these speculations!

It’s high time I come clean on the subject and squelch more speculation. Here is my say on the subject. Instead of asking me my requirements, let’s start by reviewing the type of man I have fallen for thus far.

The first one was good looking with a boyish charm about him. But what truly intrigued me was his MIND! He had one of the best brains I have ever come across. Not just book smart, he had an amazing yet convoluted philosophy of life with the most interesting views and interpretations of our social structure, and of human and marital relationships. He believed that we should choose with our minds, and not with our hearts. He believed in challenging the status quo at every turn. He had barely a penny to his name; but he had lots of ambition and a self confidence that’s larger than life.

The second one was bestowed with the gift of wit and humour. Life was a laugh to him and yet he was one of the most caring and honest guy I had the good fortune to know. The best part was that we could chat for hours about anything under the sun. He was like a best friend, a playmate, a soul mate. He had a huge appetite for knowledge and a love for the great outdoors. And he had the patience of job. There was a “connection” with him that’s beyond physical attraction and is difficult to put into words.

I connected on both work and education level with the third one. I could bounce off ideas regarding issues at work, and I could get a logical and impartial view from him, which helped me in finding a solution to most work related issues. Unlike the other two, which I felt I was on equal footing, the third one was like a mentor to me ~ someone I could look up to. Conversations with him were easy. The physical attraction was exciting, yet disconcerting. What attracted me most were his maturity and his mind. I had a lot of respect for him.

Hmmm … so what do I really require in a man? Not so easy to define eh? I don’t even know myself. Are my friends’ perceptions true? Are my requirements too high? Have I been sending out the wrong vibes? Gee … I am more confused now.

And the verdict is … only god knows. :D