Wifely trials

Working in a male dominated industry can be very frustrating especially when you are faced with men who think that they know better just because.

BUT ...

Sometimes, it is sheer joy working in such an environment, especially when you are privy to interesting conversations such as the one below.

Colleague 1: Jialat! My wife just had her hair done for RM200. That's worth almost 2 years of haircut for me! (Note: I found out that he cuts his hair once a month at the price of RM9 per cut. Hmmm ...)

Moi: That's quite a normal rate these days la especially if you perm, colour or rebond.

Colleague 1: (Glared at me.) You women spend so unnecessarily. Spend so much, look the same. Waste money only!

(Did I forget to mention that he is quite tight fisted? Kiam siap! That's the word.)

Colleague 1: (Continued.) And I can't say a word about it. If I say she looks good, that's like saying it's ok to spend RM200 to do her hair. If I say she looks bad, god knows what she will do. Probably go out and get her hair fixed again for another RM200. Or worse!

(By now, all the other guys were laughing and nodding their heads in agreement. Oh, did I forget to mention I was the only lady around?)

Colleague 2: Aiyah! Save it la. Not worth saying anything. Just like me. A few weeks ago, I open the pantry door and there were packs and packs of expired instant noodles in there. All I did was ask why she (meaning his wife) keeps expired products and not use them . Why so wasteful?

(He looked around at a sea of nodding heads. It's like the guys were expecting an explosion.)

Colleague 2: I just ask a few simple questions and then she blew up. And we got into an argument over nothing. Then, for one week ~ ONE WEEK ~ she didn't speak to me!

(I suspect that she didn't do something else as well. Otherwise, why was he so upset? :P)

Colleague 3: It's not worth saying a word la. When you get married for so long, you sometimes learn to just shut up.

Colleague 2: (Nodded his head.) Yeah. I learned that lesson well. These days, I don't even want go near the pantry.

Colleague 1: (Said to me.) Listen and learn. Next time when you get married, you know what to do.

Moi: Do what ah? Don't get my hair done for RM200? Or don't keep expired instant noodles?

(The guys laughed then.)

Hmmm ... you learn something new every day, don't you. What I learnt is, if I get my hair done for RM200, I shall certainly not tell my hypothetical husband about it. And I will definitely lock my pantry. Hahahaha

Life can be so farnie sometimes!

A small respite

Finally! I submitted my first Literature Review draft to my supervisor. I am a week late and there are more to do but this is a vast relief.

It's been the worst two weeks in my life for a long while. I can't imagine writing can be so tough. When things won't flow, it just won't flow. I was ruminating on my literature review for more than a week.

I almost panicked last week when I realised that the whole basis of my original research question needs to be rebuild from another angle. Can you imagine the amount of rereading, rewriting and thinking that involved? I was stuck for days on that one chapter. The words just didn't flow right. I couldn't seem to rebuild the argument or the case well. So many times I was all for just submitting a slip shod work but something in me just won't give up. I wrote and rewrote and rewrote...

Finally, last night, I saw the light. Like a beacon shining bright, I saw it oh so clear. I am glad I didn't give up.

I suppose one learns what one is made of in times of crisis. I now know that I just can't simply submit something. I have to at least give a shot at doing it right and as well as I could at a given time.

Next, to code and enter the data. But I will leave it till tomorrow. I think I deserve a night of proper sleep.

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

Originally I was supposed to take the whole week off to work on the dissertation but well, .... the best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray! Matters at work has a way of screwing up my priorities for the week. Only managed to take one day off today. Back to the grindstone tomorrow as there are urgent deadlines to be met at work before the long Chinese New Year hols.

I have had barely 5 hours sleep today. Went to bed early this morning at 7+am and got up about noon. The brain is not functioning properly, the eyes are grainy, etc, etc. I remember furiously typing away last night when the muse hit but yet somehow now, the brain is empty once again.

I wonder if any of you who have had the "pleasure" of working on a dissertation ever faced the problem of having a subject matter growing into a life of its own and getting out of hand. The more I type, the more the topic seem to move towards the opposite direction of my original thought intention. Now I am worried that my original hypotheses would not work and that my questionnaire is incorrect. Even though Mr. Z has taken a look at it and approved it, I have a sneaking suspicion that my thought process is diverting to something else.

Yet there is no turning back. As of last evening, I have had a total of 85 respondents. I have not checked if all the questionnaires are "usable". I was told by a friend that most likely NOT all are "clean" data. In any case, the goose is very much cooked. I definitely have to relook at the flow of my literature review and realign it to my original proposition.

Gosh! I am tired and beyond desperate.

With heartfelt gratitude and thanks ...

Total number of questionnaires collected so far totalled 47! This means another 53 or 93 more to go .... Yippeee!

Actually, it's quite an unbelievable feat. I feel so terribly touched! I am so blessed to have so much support from my coursemates, friends, colleagues, ex-colleagues and neighbours.

In fact, today I received calls from two of my coursemates who have already completed their dissertation a few months back. They kindly offered their help to assist me in churning the data and proof reading my dissertation respectively. Last week, I had calls from a few coursemates offering support and encouragement. Another coursemate (you know who you are) even emailed me his response all the way from Karachi. (Sorry to drag you away from the beautiful meenachis there to work on my dissertation questionnaire even though it was only for 10 minutes. Hehehe ...)

I am not quite sure if I deserve all these goodwill and help but I gladly accept all that's offered. Thank you all. You have my heartfelt gratitude.

I am supposed to take a few days off this week but urgent matters at work once again take precedence. I suppose life is like that. You win some, you lose some.

Whatever it is, I am still very grateful and thankful.

Counting marbles ...

Counting marbles ... counting questionnaires ... same difference I suppose.

At the moment, I am downloading a few questionnaires that just came in. All in all, I have collected about 12 samples since I sent out last eve. Not bad I suppose. Hopefully with the start of the new week, more people will be accessing their emails and will find it in their kind hearts to reply. (Yeah! I am sounding pathetic. More like desperation! :P) My target is to collect at least 100 by Wednesday but 150 would be better. The counting bean is starting again ... and here we have ... 138 more samples to go!

Meanwhile, read something interesting in my horoscope today. Yeah! Life's little pleasures come in horoscope reading for me these days. Hahahaha .... And so it goes ....

Here is your horoscope for Sunday, January 15:

Friends are very curious about your recent disappearing act. There's no mystery -- you've been so focused on a work goal or a creative project that you haven't had much time for socializing.

Hmmm ... I am not much of a believer in these sort of things but strange isn't it that today's horoscope seems to hit the jackpot?

And while we ponder the intricacies of horoscope reading that might or might not define our life and forsee our future, ... I'll get back to my dissertation.

Break is over and another day dawns. Tick! Tick! Tick!

Light at the end of the tunnel?

I must say, "discipline" stinks! My life in the last whole week consisted of going to work and then back home to work on my dissertation.

I resisted joining my friends for a "makan" trip to Teluk Gong, I stayed away from blogging for three whole days, I didn't go to the gym, I have forsaken my weekend trekking, etc, etc. Other than looking at the computer screen, I have been looking at the four walls (ok, maybe a few more walls than that) at home. Cut myself some slack and went out for dinner last Saturday night and lunch this afternoon with friends. Gee ... I didn't realise I am so much of an extrovert until I grounded myself at home.

Maggie noodles and me are the best of friends these days. I have been munching so much of late that I dared not look at the scales anymore. Maybe I should cut myself more slack and go to the gym tomorrow. Might save my sanity at least, if not my blooming weight.

Luckily my dissertation have progressed slightly from my last position. I completed my survey questionnaire two days ago and sent it to Mr. Z for an opinion. He reverted and I managed to get the questionnaire out to all my friends, my coursemates and a few neighbours today. I have already received three replies so far. Ok, 147 more to go. I think the next few days will be an exercise in patience, awaiting for the return of the questionnaires.

Meanwhile, I promise Mr. Z the first draft of my literature review on Monday. I am still stuck at chapter 2.1. Sigh!

Light at the end of the tunnel? That remains to be seen. Meanwhile, back to the grindstone.

Writer's Block

This is my second post for the year. Will wonders never cease?!! To those who think I might be hanging up the towel on blogging, let me assure you that this is not the case. I enjoy writing far too much to "cut my nose to spite my face", so to speak! :) There you go ... another nice phrase used. I have just made my day. Woohooo! Boy! Do I miss blogging!

In any case, I am trying to embrace discipline in my life for now. For those who know me very well ... stop laughing! :P Yeah! Yeah! Will wonders never cease. But as I have a more pressing matter at hand (read looming dissertation deadline), I am only making very short and infrequent jaunts to my blog these days.

I am just taking a few minutes off writing my dissertation as I have a massive writer's block. It's really the pits when words simply won't flow. Yeah! Shocking isn't it? Why can't writing a dissertation be more like writing blogs??? There is likely too much data in my head now due to reading too many articles, journals and literatures. Organising these data and putting it across in understandable and readable order plus ensuring that they make sense, is more of a challenge than I thought.

Oh well, back to the grindstone. Otherwise, my ever watchful task masters/ task mistresses will be on my back getting me focus on the task at hand. :p Much as I hate to admit it, thanks for the encouragement and wielding the "rod" when necessary dear friends.

Adios! Till my next little "escapism" jaunt!

Of New Years and old times …

Goodbye 2005, Hello 2006!

The New Year was celebrated with the siau gang over potluck and a sleepover at my place. We witnessed fireworks of various locations that lighted up the KL/PJ skyline from my balcony. Some of us yak and drank till morning and basically we had a jolly good time.

Yet, despite the company and the occasion, the change of year didn’t seem to have made an impact on me. It just felt like any other day except perhaps for the passing of time and the marking of the date. I threw away the 2005 calendar and brought out the 2006 calendar.

Reflecting on the year before i.e. 2004/2005, I remembered having a potluck too but at my old rented place with my trekking buddies i.e. a different group of friends. As far back as the millennium, I remembered New Year celebrations had always been with my trekking buddies although in the last two years, we have all grown apart.

Chronology of New Year celebrations:
* 1999/2000 – Celebrated with my new found trekking buddies at the Belum National Park up in the jungles of Perak. It was a “leechy” experience but a most unforgettable one.
* 2000/2001 – Celebrated with Lee Lee and a few new made backpacking friends at Sapa Mountains, North Vietnam. It was an eventful trip as this was where Ben (the confirmed bachelor of the trekking group) met his other half.
* 2001/2002 – Memory blank ~ can’t quite remember where I was but I am quite sure the celebration was with my trekking buddies.
* 2002/2003 – Celebrated with my trekking buddies at my old rented place.

It is strange to think that the years passed so swiftly from the date I just started out as an eager, budding trekker. I feel quite an old hand at it now although it’s been a while (almost 2 years) since the old trekking group have gone for a real camping and trekking trip. Truth be told, it was Lee Lee (the trek coordinator/ leader) that have kept the group together for so long. Perhaps getting together and growing apart is part and parcel of the cycle of life.

I admit I have perhaps taken some friendships for granted and not nurtured it as I should have. And for sure, I have taken my parents, sisters and family for granted.

With the dawn of the New Year, for a person who has given up on making resolutions, perhaps it is time to make a new one.

I resolve not to take any of my friendships and relationships for granted. I will strive to make time for my family and friends ~ be it through phone calls or get-togethers. This I shall vow, and this it shall be.