Friday, September 23, 2005

Sucking the marrow out of life ...

Sometimes, an event occurs and changes your entire perspecitve of life. This happened to me about 5 years ago. And I would like to share with you my musings then.

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All of us are guilty of being so wrapped up with our own lives and trials that we mostly forget the world do not centre upon us alone.

It was a rude awakening for me when I received an email from a good friend saying that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is only 34! I have known Jen for a couple of years now. She is my cinema-going and books-exchange friend. One of those friends whom I might not meet for ages, but when we do, we are never lacked of things to say!!! How to describe Jen? Well, she is a strong and healthy woman, in more ways than one. She is hardworking and has this enormous capacity to absorb facts. She is the sort of woman who is a little unconventional – after all she spent six months bumming around Europe!

The news about Jen came as a shock to all of us. There was neither rhyme nor reason for it. But such is life! The good and especially the bad come with no warning! I have no idea exactly what ensued for weeks after that email. Jen was always busy and hardly had the time to talk to us. When we finally met, she was in the hospital after surgery. My worry of not knowing what to say turned into awe for her. For Jen asked for no pity! The determination in her eyes and the unflagging spirit in her voice said it all. Whilst she is not laughing at the face of adversity, there was definitely a smile there!

Jen has made peace with her lot in life in a way that I wish I could with my little problems. She is mastering her fear by voraciously seeking and absorbing every detail about her illness. Her determination to gain that self-control and deal with life has earned my respect. How she dealt with her own demons, that I have no idea. I know for sure though that the darkest hour has beset her but she managed to triumph over it. Jen’s philosophy seems simple. She has lived her life with few regrets. Fate has dealt her a harsh hand, but it is not deathly as yet. She knows not what the future might bring, but she will live for the present and she is getting on with life.

From Jen I learned a simple but valuable lesson. Life is too short to bemoan it. Make the best of what we have and move on. Jen is going to start her chemotherapy soon. I know that she is worried and a little confused over the differences of opinions from her doctors. I just want her to know that there are a lot of people rooting for her. She has come so far and with such courage.

As Virgil, the Roman poet, once said and I quote, “ Death plucks my ear and says, ‘Live, I am coming.’”


Jen, you are the living proof.

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It's 5 years later now and Jen is healthy and alive. And still as passionate about living. It's a beautiful lesson learnt. We can't just be a spectator in life for we do not know when calamity will strike us. We have to participate in it, live it, and suck the marrow out of life!

As it is so aptly put in this poem by Henry David Thoreau (American essayist, poet and philosopher, 1817-1862), "I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep & suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life & not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived."

Go for it! Carpe Diem!

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