I always face this dilemma when I am out with a guy. Living in this bra-burning (figuratively speaking) and women liberating/ emancipating era, “to pay or not to pay” still remains a question.
There is this male friend I go out with whenever he is in town. From the day I know him, he seldom lets me pay. The first time I tried, he brushed me off saying that he could afford it. Ahem! I wouldn’t dare insult him after that. It was nice at first. Ok, ok, I admit it. Free lunch or dinner always tastes better. :) But after awhile, I began to feel bad. It is not like we are in a “relationship”. (Even if we are, there is no excuse that one party always pays unless he is filthy rich of course! :p) We are just friends who hang out together. It doesn’t seem fair that he pays all the time. In the end, I managed to convince him that sometimes, I should pay too. After all, I am a 21st century woman! The pride demands it, but the pocket suffers because of it. :p
Then, there is the other extreme. I have this other male friend who calculates down to the last sen whenever we go out. Sometimes I wish he is less calculative. I mean, we hang out together, at mamak stalls mostly. It has never ceased to amaze me that he would split the cost of teh tarik and roti canai. My policy is I pay today, you pay tomorrow. Why should we split everything down to half? That makes one look so “kiam siap”.
Last night when I went out with a new friend, I discovered that he has a rule on paying when it comes to women. His rule is if he asks the lady out, he pays. If the lady asks him out, he pays too … unless there has been a prior agreement that the lady wants to pay. Even then, he would go “dutch”. Hmmm … I kind of like his philosophy. Hahaha … He claims that this is a practice he learnt from the British men. Hmmm … chivalry ain’t dead after all. Great! I wouldn’t mind dating British men then. “Hey you strong handsome Brits out there, welcome to my parlour!” Said the spider to the fly. :p
In any case, the question still remains, “To pay or not to pay”. Life sure ain’t easy for the millennium woman! Don’t you think? :)
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8 comments:
just a short remark the first guy wants a further relatonship.
I don't know.. but isn't it like a culture for the guys to pay when they go out with ladies???
Yeen, thanks for the encouragement. :)
Alex, looking forward to more free meals from you. Muahahaha ...
Innerspace, I doubt it la. That one I already cleared the air much earlier. :)
You poor lost woman..
Wooi! What lost woman la. I'll deal with you in gym this weekend! :P
Does this mean you are coming to my RPM??
Still on the First Guy case. So far he continues to date you and attend your date. I believe that he is waiting for his late coming chance(s).
HHmm.. just wanna say, can the guys out there take it that when we ladies offer to pay our part, its just a matter of being understanding that's all. Nothing to do with feminism movement watsoever la!
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