Lost your “cherry”?

Lost your “cherry”?
Yes? No?
Don’t know?
Don’t care?
Does it matter?

“Antara dara dan bukan dara hanya tinggal beberapa detik masa sahaja.”
~ written by Pramoedya Ananta Toer in his novel Keluarga Gerilya.

I sat for Malay Literature in Form Six (don’t ask me why) and one of the readings was Keluarga Gerilya. It is one of the more interesting Malay literatures that I have read. Check out the synopsis at Dari Jiwa Rasa. But I digress.

The above phrase has stayed with me ever since. It's a simple sentence but postulates a powerful message. Translated, it means ... "The difference between a virgin and a non-virgin (for lack of a better word) is only mere seconds apart."

My hobby and passion for backpacking has opened up my contact with people from various cultures and all walks of life. And working in sales and marketing, and recently, in a male dominated environment have further exposed me to conversations peppered with profanities, double entendres, sexual connotations, etc. I just take it in stride. But when necessary, lines have to be drawn on how far and how personal the conversation gets. Over the years, I find myself in several awkward conversations.

The conversations usually start with a statement.

“Aiyah! Where got virgin over 21 these days lah,” my sales colleague would comment, perhaps hoping for some reaction??? Hmmm …

I was out with a gwei lo once and he went, “I have had triple orgasms at one go before.” I was thinking, “Yeah and I need to know because .... ???” And surprise, surprise, guess where the conversation led to?

It’s funny, this cherry business. If you have lost it, you might be thought to be an easy lay. If you have not, you are given the “I don’t believe you” or “You are pulling my legs” looks, or you might be asked, “Are you frigid?” Then again, in certain circles, you are viewed to be a cool dudette if you have lost your cherry. Cooler still if you have gained notches on your bedposts. In other circles, keeping your cherry until marriage means that you are a good, fine woman. Hmmm … any way you slice it, it is a no win situation.

Big stars like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Brooke Shields all have once claimed to be virgins during the peak of their careers and promptly lost it. I have read and heard stories about women going to the extend of having plastic surgery to mend what is broken; but then even the miracles of science can’t help in certain instances, this being one of those. But really, what is the blardy BIG deal about the cherry anyway? After all, it’s a just a little piece of membrane that most active women would have broken long ago, technically speaking. And in Pramoedya Ananta Toer’s words, “Antara dara dan bukan dara hanya tinggal beberapa detik masa sahaja.”

Cherry or no, it’s no one else’s business but your own.