N – 3

Amidst a beautiful dusk skyline, in a little Chinese restaurant tucked away in a corner near Sunway Pyramid, sat a group of friends having a most interesting conversation about head-hunters and why they collect scalps.

Female #1: Why do the head-hunters want the scalps?

Female #2: Well, they are the spoils of war and the scalps show their … err … what’s the word for it …

Canadian chap: (chips in) … virility … or male fertility …

Female #2: Yeah. That’s it. And the more scalps one has, the more virile he is!

Female #1: (ponders further) Why is it that in the olden days, men have to show their virility? What do today’s men do to show their virility?

(The whole group was stumped for a moment.)

Malaysian chap #1: (the crazy jock says) Eh … they do pump? (as in the gym session of Body Pump)

Malaysian chap #2: (interjects) Frankly, I don’t care.

Female #2: (looks at Malaysian chap #1) Siau la you. Pump pulak?

Female #1: (continues to ponder) What then? How do modern men show their virility?

Female #2: They talk about it I suppose. You notice guys these days like to talk big la … like how many girls they have slept with la. And they like to boast among their male friends on how many notches they have on their bedposts. But in reality, maybe none! (looks at Malaysian chap #1) Like the story you told us about your friend who talks big but later you guys discovered he probably hasn’t done it before.

Canadian chap: Actually in Canada, there’s a rule of thumb on how to discount the extra notches a guy claims to have. Basically, the rule is to use N-3. So whatever the number the guy claims, just minus 3 from that.

Female #1: Why 3? Why not 4 or 5 or ….?

Canadian chap: (smiles) No idea … it’s just the rule of thumb.

As the conversation fades away, this writer still ponders on why the magical number 3 is chosen. Any ideas? And any other thoughts as to how the male species prove their virility in these modern times?

Disclaimer: Above conversation has been edited for more palatable reading to cater to young readers. Thus the accuracy of who says what may have been altered from the original conversation.