Don’t you just hate it when you meet people who know exactly what they want from life and exactly where they want to go? For example, they would have their entire life mapped out for themselves in terms of personal and career i.e. when to get married and have the first kid; when they would become manager and director of a company; when they want to make their first million, etc. Yes! I have friends like that in varsity days and yes, a few of them are doing very well in life now.
Perhaps hate is too strong a word. Don’t you simply feel envious of these people who seemed so sure and confident of themselves as they trudge forward in the path of life while you struggle to come to terms with who you are and what you want from life?
The second story from Steve Jobs’ speech at Stanford University addressed this issue.
From the mouth of Steve Jobs:
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents’ garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired.
How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out.
When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking.
Don't settle.
As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it.
Don't settle.
~~~~~ To be continued ~~~~~
Whilst most of my friends stayed on at one or two jobs or at most three and built their careers with these companies, I have changed a total of 6 jobs in the span of 11 years of working. It was never part of my grand plan in life to move so frequently. I am cognizant of the fact that a rolling stone carries no moss. I badly wanted to stay on at one job and build my career, but it was never meant to be.
Part of the problem was me. I was always looking for a challenge. I hated routine and which job didn’t become routine after awhile? I did not want to settle in a job where I feel no passion for it. After all, I probably spent 60% of my waking hours at work. And I figured I darn well better enjoy it! The other part of the problem was the circumstances that befell me. In one instance I was retrenched and in another, the company wound up.
Be that as it may, being retrenched was never a great feeling. No doubt you get a chunk of money from your employer. However, you can’t help but feel like a failure in some ways. Even after you moved on, the stigma still remained and it would take months to regain your level of confidence. But as in the case of Steve Jobs, being retrenched was probably one of the best things that happened in my life. It moved me away from a situation of contentment and complacency and put me right back into the race to fight for something I feel passionate about.
What I have learned in the corporate world is that there is no such thing as long term employment. Restructuring comes and goes. Bosses come and go. One has to learn to roll with the punches. But the one important thing I learnt about myself is that I have to feel passionate about what I do and enjoy my work. The day I quit doing so would be the day I would look elsewhere to paddle my wares.
And as in work, life and matters of the heart, the words from Steve Jobs ring true, “Don’t Settle.” I have yet to do so though the pressure has been great in recent years. My creed in life for so long has been to do something because I feel the passion and the joy for it, not because society demanded it of me.
Marching to the tune of a different drummer is not easy. Sometimes we falter because settling for something is always the easiest solution. In matters of the heart, there is a constant fear that we would settle due to the constant urging of good meaning samaritans who believe in conforming to society’s time line of getting married and having kids. I certainly hope not.
I shall keep the words of Steve Jobs close to my heart.
You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking.
Don't settle.
As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it.
Don't settle.
Yes! Don’t settle.
P.S. Look out for Part 3 – Death
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Part 1 ~ Connecting the Dots
Recently, a friend forwarded me an email on a simple but yet meaningful speech given by Steve Jobs (to the uninitiated, Apple Computer CEO) at Stanford University on June 12th 2005. I thought to share it with you as the speech “spoke” to me on so many levels.
The following is a transcription of that speech, which I will break up into 3 blog postings i.e. one story for each posting.
From the mouth of Steve Jobs:
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college.
Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation.
Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal.
Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit.
So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5' deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on.
Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life.
But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
~~~~~ To be continued ~~~~~
I remembered my first major interview with the folks from Effem Foods (the company that produce Mars and Snickers, M&M’s, Pedigree, Whiskas, etc.) I had graduated recently and had only one year of working experience behind me. I was among eight final candidates vying for a position in Effem Foods.
In those days, interviews to get into corporations like these were long, drawn-out one-and-a-half to two-day affairs. We had to go through various written tests (which encompassed multiple choice questions, written essays, calculations and questions on general knowledge), performed five-minute impromptu individual presentations to the panel of interviewers, put through various group dynamic tests and of course, a final sit down dinner at the end of the interview to test our social etiquette.
After going through the battery of tests, I figured I’d most likely get the job; except for one person standing in my way i.e. this other Chinese chap. He oozed self confidence in every sense of the word but he had one major flaw ~ he never listened to anyone and was opinionated on everything to the verge of annoyance. (Note: I could be biased since I was vying for the same position.)
In any case, “gwei los” (who happened to form part of the interview panel) have a tendency to admire self-confidence in a person. Not that I lack any; just that I do not come across so strongly ~ if you know what I mean. Anyway, we had to go through a final group dynamic test where all the eight candidates were secluded in a room and were given a task to come up with a solution for a case study within a stipulated time. There were “examiners” observing our behaviour while we discussed the case study and arrived at a solution.
I was pretty sure that I had bagged the job the moment this test was presented to us. Why? Because as usual, Mr Oozing-with-Self-Confidence had his say and pretty much shut everyone up because he thought he knew what the best solution was. I watched his antics with glee as I knew the purpose of the test was not the solution in itself but how a leader manage his team and provide a platform for everyone to say his/her piece before arriving at a solution. And I believe I passed this test with flying colours and ousted my strongest contender for the position. As they say, the rest was history.
One may ask, what did this have anything to do with connecting the dots?
Well, during my varsity years, I was deeply involved with this student organisation called AIESEC. I spent a lot of time and effort with the organisation that in some ways, I neglected my family and my studies. Often, my parents questioned me on my time spent in this organisation and what I hoped to achieve out of it. Well, other than the fun, the games and the networking, I learned about handling group dynamics. We organised and attended lots of sessions on the above. One of which was the same test that I went through in my interview in Effem Foods.
And that was how and why I knew I had the edge over the rest to win the job at the end of the day. It was nothing as ground breaking as what Steve Jobs did with the Mac but if you had asked me at that point in time what I hoped to achieve from joining AIESEC, my reply would have been fun, games and networking. Little did I know that it would have helped me succeed in getting the highly sought after job with Effem Foods later on.
As Steve Jobs said,
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
I shall leave the above for you to ponder over.
P.S. Look out for Part 2 – Don’t Settle
The following is a transcription of that speech, which I will break up into 3 blog postings i.e. one story for each posting.
From the mouth of Steve Jobs:
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college.
Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation.
Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal.
Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit.
So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5' deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on.
Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life.
But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
~~~~~ To be continued ~~~~~
I remembered my first major interview with the folks from Effem Foods (the company that produce Mars and Snickers, M&M’s, Pedigree, Whiskas, etc.) I had graduated recently and had only one year of working experience behind me. I was among eight final candidates vying for a position in Effem Foods.
In those days, interviews to get into corporations like these were long, drawn-out one-and-a-half to two-day affairs. We had to go through various written tests (which encompassed multiple choice questions, written essays, calculations and questions on general knowledge), performed five-minute impromptu individual presentations to the panel of interviewers, put through various group dynamic tests and of course, a final sit down dinner at the end of the interview to test our social etiquette.
After going through the battery of tests, I figured I’d most likely get the job; except for one person standing in my way i.e. this other Chinese chap. He oozed self confidence in every sense of the word but he had one major flaw ~ he never listened to anyone and was opinionated on everything to the verge of annoyance. (Note: I could be biased since I was vying for the same position.)
In any case, “gwei los” (who happened to form part of the interview panel) have a tendency to admire self-confidence in a person. Not that I lack any; just that I do not come across so strongly ~ if you know what I mean. Anyway, we had to go through a final group dynamic test where all the eight candidates were secluded in a room and were given a task to come up with a solution for a case study within a stipulated time. There were “examiners” observing our behaviour while we discussed the case study and arrived at a solution.
I was pretty sure that I had bagged the job the moment this test was presented to us. Why? Because as usual, Mr Oozing-with-Self-Confidence had his say and pretty much shut everyone up because he thought he knew what the best solution was. I watched his antics with glee as I knew the purpose of the test was not the solution in itself but how a leader manage his team and provide a platform for everyone to say his/her piece before arriving at a solution. And I believe I passed this test with flying colours and ousted my strongest contender for the position. As they say, the rest was history.
One may ask, what did this have anything to do with connecting the dots?
Well, during my varsity years, I was deeply involved with this student organisation called AIESEC. I spent a lot of time and effort with the organisation that in some ways, I neglected my family and my studies. Often, my parents questioned me on my time spent in this organisation and what I hoped to achieve out of it. Well, other than the fun, the games and the networking, I learned about handling group dynamics. We organised and attended lots of sessions on the above. One of which was the same test that I went through in my interview in Effem Foods.
And that was how and why I knew I had the edge over the rest to win the job at the end of the day. It was nothing as ground breaking as what Steve Jobs did with the Mac but if you had asked me at that point in time what I hoped to achieve from joining AIESEC, my reply would have been fun, games and networking. Little did I know that it would have helped me succeed in getting the highly sought after job with Effem Foods later on.
As Steve Jobs said,
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
I shall leave the above for you to ponder over.
P.S. Look out for Part 2 – Don’t Settle
Friday, July 14, 2006
Bad Day
Bad Day - Daniel Powter
I love this song and finally found the lyrics.
Song lyrics
Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out
Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that
Strong
Well I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does it feel, one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
I love this song and finally found the lyrics.
Song lyrics
Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out
Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that
Strong
Well I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does it feel, one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
World Cup Lessons
Yes! I did finally get into the World Cup Fever, beginning from the quarterfinal matches. Sadly, my samba boys (Brazil) did not clear their quarterfinal match and allowed the Frenchies to stride into the semis and then the finals. Neither did my German cuties made it to the finals. A very sad World Cup Finals for me indeed.
But the match that left the strongest impression on me (I didn't watch that many matches after all) was the one between Germany and Italy. Their match was tied at 0-0 right up to the 29th minute of extra time and suddenly the Italians scored two goals straight! What a waste!
Lessons Learned:
Lesson 1
No matter how vigilant we are, the moment we relax our defences, our competitors will find the crack and hit us where it hurts. Witness the Germany versus Italy match.
Lesson 2
It doesn't matter if you are a legend. You butt (headbutt), you pay (red card)! Poor Zidane. What a way to go.
Lesson 3
When in Europe, the Europeans will triumph.
Lesson 4
Everyone's an expert on football. From beauty queens to sexy teens. From mat motor to pak mamak.
Lesson 5
Football fans become nocturnal animals. Comatose by day, vampires by night.
Lesson 6
Not hitting sales targets? Reason: everybody's too busy watching World Cup to stimulate the economy!
Lesson 7
The less you know about football, the higher the chances of winning your bets!
Lesson 8
World Cup is more popular than Wimbledon!
Lesson 9
Late to work? Blame it on World Cup!
Lesson 10
It doesn't matter if everyone lies. You can be sure of one thing. Your hips don't lie! :p
Here's to my samba boys!
Hips Don't Lie
But the match that left the strongest impression on me (I didn't watch that many matches after all) was the one between Germany and Italy. Their match was tied at 0-0 right up to the 29th minute of extra time and suddenly the Italians scored two goals straight! What a waste!
Lessons Learned:
Lesson 1
No matter how vigilant we are, the moment we relax our defences, our competitors will find the crack and hit us where it hurts. Witness the Germany versus Italy match.
Lesson 2
It doesn't matter if you are a legend. You butt (headbutt), you pay (red card)! Poor Zidane. What a way to go.
Lesson 3
When in Europe, the Europeans will triumph.
Lesson 4
Everyone's an expert on football. From beauty queens to sexy teens. From mat motor to pak mamak.
Lesson 5
Football fans become nocturnal animals. Comatose by day, vampires by night.
Lesson 6
Not hitting sales targets? Reason: everybody's too busy watching World Cup to stimulate the economy!
Lesson 7
The less you know about football, the higher the chances of winning your bets!
Lesson 8
World Cup is more popular than Wimbledon!
Lesson 9
Late to work? Blame it on World Cup!
Lesson 10
It doesn't matter if everyone lies. You can be sure of one thing. Your hips don't lie! :p
Here's to my samba boys!
Hips Don't Lie
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Are you lonesome tonight?
Akon - Lonely
Lonely a. solitary, isolated; (sad because) companionless
Company n. being with another or others
Companion n. one who accompanies or associates with another
Source: The Little Oxford Dictionary
I recently heard that a friend of mine is getting registered for marriage. Strangely enough, she was crying with tears of misery when she told this to another friend. She was happily into this comfortable relationship and would have continued with the status quo if she had not been pressured to choose either marriage or nothing at all. Fearing the loss of the companionship and loneliness, she succumbed in misery. Is loneliness reason enough to get married?
A couple of weeks back, another friend had to face the reality that the four-year “on-again off-again” flirtation she had with this guy might not go anywhere. She was devastated. And during one of her low moments, she said, “I don’t want to grow old and lonely. But I fear that in order to avoid doing that I might one day succumb into a relationship with a married man.” Is loneliness reason enough to get into a complicated relationship?
There’s this story I heard about a chatter who goes on dates with guys she met online and because she wanted/ needed the “love” and companionship, she was willing to sleep with these guys on their first dates. Sadly, at the time of the telling, she had not found one willing to go the whole nine yards i.e. red picket fences and the little house on the prairie. (Story is hearsay and unverified.) Is loneliness reason enough to sleep around?
A friend once asked me if I am lonely or if I fear loneliness. I answered; of course I get lonely sometimes. Don’t we all? It is not necessary to be alone to feel lonely. We could be among a sea of faces and still feel lonely. But I have learned that loneliness hits when our emotional well being is at its worst or when we have long periods of idleness or aimlessness. And we have no one to talk to about that. After all, an idle mind is a devil’s playing field.
Do I fear loneliness? I have not given that much thought. Perhaps because I live a reasonably good and fulfilling life; with a family who loves me and friends who keeps my life interesting and exciting.
“But your friends won’t be with you forever. They would eventually settle down, get married, have kids and live a life of their own,” my friend persisted. “You don’t want to grow old alone do you?”
Hmmm … now that’s food for thought. Not that I have not considered this aspect before. But getting married and having kids do not guarantee that we would not end up alone and lonely. After all, there are no guarantees in life. Here today, gone tomorrow. Who knows? *shrugs*
Should fear of loneliness spur us into relationships that we do not want or are not healthy for us? To what lengths would we go to avoid loneliness?
I would like to think that I would grow old surrounded by friends and family; whether I am married or not. And I would expect I will extend the same support and friendship to my friends and family.
Perhaps that’s the eternal optimist in me!
Lonely a. solitary, isolated; (sad because) companionless
Company n. being with another or others
Companion n. one who accompanies or associates with another
Source: The Little Oxford Dictionary
I recently heard that a friend of mine is getting registered for marriage. Strangely enough, she was crying with tears of misery when she told this to another friend. She was happily into this comfortable relationship and would have continued with the status quo if she had not been pressured to choose either marriage or nothing at all. Fearing the loss of the companionship and loneliness, she succumbed in misery. Is loneliness reason enough to get married?
A couple of weeks back, another friend had to face the reality that the four-year “on-again off-again” flirtation she had with this guy might not go anywhere. She was devastated. And during one of her low moments, she said, “I don’t want to grow old and lonely. But I fear that in order to avoid doing that I might one day succumb into a relationship with a married man.” Is loneliness reason enough to get into a complicated relationship?
There’s this story I heard about a chatter who goes on dates with guys she met online and because she wanted/ needed the “love” and companionship, she was willing to sleep with these guys on their first dates. Sadly, at the time of the telling, she had not found one willing to go the whole nine yards i.e. red picket fences and the little house on the prairie. (Story is hearsay and unverified.) Is loneliness reason enough to sleep around?
A friend once asked me if I am lonely or if I fear loneliness. I answered; of course I get lonely sometimes. Don’t we all? It is not necessary to be alone to feel lonely. We could be among a sea of faces and still feel lonely. But I have learned that loneliness hits when our emotional well being is at its worst or when we have long periods of idleness or aimlessness. And we have no one to talk to about that. After all, an idle mind is a devil’s playing field.
Do I fear loneliness? I have not given that much thought. Perhaps because I live a reasonably good and fulfilling life; with a family who loves me and friends who keeps my life interesting and exciting.
“But your friends won’t be with you forever. They would eventually settle down, get married, have kids and live a life of their own,” my friend persisted. “You don’t want to grow old alone do you?”
Hmmm … now that’s food for thought. Not that I have not considered this aspect before. But getting married and having kids do not guarantee that we would not end up alone and lonely. After all, there are no guarantees in life. Here today, gone tomorrow. Who knows? *shrugs*
Should fear of loneliness spur us into relationships that we do not want or are not healthy for us? To what lengths would we go to avoid loneliness?
I would like to think that I would grow old surrounded by friends and family; whether I am married or not. And I would expect I will extend the same support and friendship to my friends and family.
Perhaps that’s the eternal optimist in me!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
The Perfect Man
The following missive arrived at my inbox one fine day.
As Kyle's life and career coach I actively encourage him to seek out new opportunities and nurture productive relationships with other people. One recent initiative he's taking is looking for a life partner. To facilitate his search, I've ... blah blah blah
PL, please advise when you've written the personal ad for him on your blog.
Best wishes,
Kyle’s life & career coach
The thing about my life is that I have really interesting (read whacky) friends. Never a dull moment, eh? Hehehehe … In this case, I have been tasked with a heavy responsibility to create a personal ad for this friend, Kyle. And for the sake of his future, I dare not fail. (I shall ignore the fact that I had joked and volunteered for this during one of our trekking trips.) I hope I still have two friends after this. No regrets Kyle & Kyle’s coach. Regrets are for sissies! :p
I ain’t no personal ad writer, so here goes nothing …
Kyle Seto
-------------------------------------
Canadian citizen, Chinese born,
Canadian accent but he ain’t no blond.
A rojak influence of East and West,
Dare I claim that he comes from the best?
A steady income, a noble profession,
In education, he shares his passion.
House keeping skills, that’s a probability,
Green card options, perhaps a possibility.
Not too young, not too old,
Just ngam ngam thirty five years old.
Not too tall, not that short,
No bag of bones, certainly not bald!
Cutesy in purple, snazzy in blue,
Watch out for the smile that he flashes you.
Cutesy in Purple ...
Snazzy in Blue ...
Is he what you are looking for?
If yes, then wait no more!
The queue is long, the time is short,
His fans are beating down his “fort”.
Clear your calendar, book his time,
Catch this social butterfly at his prime,
Quick! Drown him with photos, drop him a line,
Grab this perfect man for he is a real find!
------------- The End -------------
From the creative juices of Leanne’s shrinking muse
P.S. Hey Kyle, if this really works for you, I get finder's fee ok. You better make it a huge one! :P
As Kyle's life and career coach I actively encourage him to seek out new opportunities and nurture productive relationships with other people. One recent initiative he's taking is looking for a life partner. To facilitate his search, I've ... blah blah blah
PL, please advise when you've written the personal ad for him on your blog.
Best wishes,
Kyle’s life & career coach
The thing about my life is that I have really interesting (read whacky) friends. Never a dull moment, eh? Hehehehe … In this case, I have been tasked with a heavy responsibility to create a personal ad for this friend, Kyle. And for the sake of his future, I dare not fail. (I shall ignore the fact that I had joked and volunteered for this during one of our trekking trips.) I hope I still have two friends after this. No regrets Kyle & Kyle’s coach. Regrets are for sissies! :p
I ain’t no personal ad writer, so here goes nothing …
Kyle Seto
-------------------------------------
Canadian citizen, Chinese born,
Canadian accent but he ain’t no blond.
A rojak influence of East and West,
Dare I claim that he comes from the best?
A steady income, a noble profession,
In education, he shares his passion.
House keeping skills, that’s a probability,
Green card options, perhaps a possibility.
Not too young, not too old,
Just ngam ngam thirty five years old.
Not too tall, not that short,
No bag of bones, certainly not bald!
Cutesy in purple, snazzy in blue,
Watch out for the smile that he flashes you.
Cutesy in Purple ...
Snazzy in Blue ...
Is he what you are looking for?
If yes, then wait no more!
The queue is long, the time is short,
His fans are beating down his “fort”.
Clear your calendar, book his time,
Catch this social butterfly at his prime,
Quick! Drown him with photos, drop him a line,
Grab this perfect man for he is a real find!
------------- The End -------------
From the creative juices of Leanne’s shrinking muse
P.S. Hey Kyle, if this really works for you, I get finder's fee ok. You better make it a huge one! :P
For Money or for …
Career.
Happiness.
Job Satisfaction.
Security.
Etc., etc.
What do we work for?
These thoughts have been on my mind a lot lately. Not because I am in a dilemma (although it’s worth taking stock of our situation every now and then) but because the people within my circle of influence are.
My eldest sister for instance, finally handed in her resignation, after much prodding from us. It is not because she dislikes her work; it is because of the untenable company system she works within which she has tried to change but failed in the last few years. She has finally given up on hitting her head against the brick wall.
My younger sister on the other hand has an opportunity to move to a position that she has dreamed of for a long while but … she has to sacrifice quite a large sum of her current fringe benefits to attain what she wants. We shall await her final decision.
My cousin, who has just graduated and joined the rat race, has resigned after a month in a research company and returned to the world of academics as a lecturer. Many would have said that career wise; it’s not such a good move. But knowing my cousin, the job of a lecturer would probably be perfect for him. His musings on education can be found here in his blog.
Then, there’s this friend, who has recently given up on a cushy job and decided to work full time as a gym instructor.
And another friend who has refused to take up a high paying job with an investment company in KL because it would mean she has to uproot herself from her comfort zone in Penang.
One friend, despite her unhappiness, has not moved from her job because she wishes to complete her MBA first.
There are two Canadian friends who have forsaken better remuneration lecturing elsewhere for an experience to work in Malaysia.
And if I dig deep enough in my memory bank, there would be many more instances and examples.
What really motivate all of them? Obviously not merely money.
For me, remuneration would always be part of the total package but it is not THE top priority. After all, I have taken a tremendous pay cut to join a dotcom company once upon a time. Job satisfaction, social circle, company culture, company politics, and remuneration ~ all these play a part in the final decision.
My philosophy is simple. There is no perfect job (at least not within the realm of my experience) and there is no perfect company. When I am very unhappy and dissatisfied with the job and/or company, I’ll go through the following line of thought.
“Can I change the situation? If yes, I stay. If no, then … can I change my attitude/ perception and accept the situation as is? If yes, I stay. If no, I’ll leave.”
Some say the reality is not as simple as that. Sometimes we are stuck with responsibilities that make leaving the job more difficult. (This is in situations where we do not have a better option.) But again, the choice is ours. We could sacrifice on certain part of our lifestyle if we really cannot stand the situation. Or if we really want to continue with our lifestyle (that clearly shows where our priority lies), we have to adjust our thoughts and attitude and accept/ tolerate the situation.
So perhaps, it is really that simple after all.
Happiness.
Job Satisfaction.
Security.
Etc., etc.
What do we work for?
These thoughts have been on my mind a lot lately. Not because I am in a dilemma (although it’s worth taking stock of our situation every now and then) but because the people within my circle of influence are.
My eldest sister for instance, finally handed in her resignation, after much prodding from us. It is not because she dislikes her work; it is because of the untenable company system she works within which she has tried to change but failed in the last few years. She has finally given up on hitting her head against the brick wall.
My younger sister on the other hand has an opportunity to move to a position that she has dreamed of for a long while but … she has to sacrifice quite a large sum of her current fringe benefits to attain what she wants. We shall await her final decision.
My cousin, who has just graduated and joined the rat race, has resigned after a month in a research company and returned to the world of academics as a lecturer. Many would have said that career wise; it’s not such a good move. But knowing my cousin, the job of a lecturer would probably be perfect for him. His musings on education can be found here in his blog.
Then, there’s this friend, who has recently given up on a cushy job and decided to work full time as a gym instructor.
And another friend who has refused to take up a high paying job with an investment company in KL because it would mean she has to uproot herself from her comfort zone in Penang.
One friend, despite her unhappiness, has not moved from her job because she wishes to complete her MBA first.
There are two Canadian friends who have forsaken better remuneration lecturing elsewhere for an experience to work in Malaysia.
And if I dig deep enough in my memory bank, there would be many more instances and examples.
What really motivate all of them? Obviously not merely money.
For me, remuneration would always be part of the total package but it is not THE top priority. After all, I have taken a tremendous pay cut to join a dotcom company once upon a time. Job satisfaction, social circle, company culture, company politics, and remuneration ~ all these play a part in the final decision.
My philosophy is simple. There is no perfect job (at least not within the realm of my experience) and there is no perfect company. When I am very unhappy and dissatisfied with the job and/or company, I’ll go through the following line of thought.
“Can I change the situation? If yes, I stay. If no, then … can I change my attitude/ perception and accept the situation as is? If yes, I stay. If no, I’ll leave.”
Some say the reality is not as simple as that. Sometimes we are stuck with responsibilities that make leaving the job more difficult. (This is in situations where we do not have a better option.) But again, the choice is ours. We could sacrifice on certain part of our lifestyle if we really cannot stand the situation. Or if we really want to continue with our lifestyle (that clearly shows where our priority lies), we have to adjust our thoughts and attitude and accept/ tolerate the situation.
So perhaps, it is really that simple after all.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
From the mouth of babies!
Recently, a friend forwarded me an email on letters from kids to God. I found the following letter and thought that it was a gem of a letter from just a kid. Profound isn't it?
Another failed attempt
Why am I blogging at 6 in the morning? Good question! It’s because this is the second failed attempt to go biking and I can’t go back to sleep.
Sometime back, a few of the siau gang considered going on a cross country road bike (as in bicycle) tour later in the year. Needless to say, I was tempted.
Nevermind that I didn’t own a bike.
Nevermind that I might not have enough leave to go on a cross country road tour.
Nevermind that I am not an RPM fan in the gym and that those who are planning to go are either RPM instructors or RPM hardcore riders.
(Note: To the uninitiated, RPM is a cardio class offered in the gym where one spends 45 minutes on a stationary bike simulating hill rides and races.)
“After all, what the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.” Yeah! Yeah! Will have to relook at this quote later. :P
Just a couple of weeks back, the siau gang decided that the first trial would be to cycle to Port Dickson and back. Now, that is over 100kms one way. I was sceptical. First attempt for a non RPM goer and a non biker. That’s like committing physical suicide! :p It’s a little over the top even for me. So, we decided to go on a short trial ride to Bukit Jalil and back. I am told that it’s about 20kms but I stand corrected.
And thus, a couple of weeks back, I went to a bike shop to borrow a bike to go riding with these siau friends of mine the next day. The guy at the shop took one look at me and said that he did not have a bike my size on loan. Ehhh … to the unitiated, a bike my size would mean a smaller frame. After all, not everyone is born to be more than 5.5 footers!
What to do? No bike and I desperately wanted to try biking again. My first attempt was in 2002 and I have been considering this sport ever since. However, I resisted as I did not want another “white elephant” in my “closet”.
I digress. In any case, I made a rash decision and bought a spunky new bike! I blew RM1,300 on it and another RM470 on accessories. Yup! Rash decision it was. But look at my spunky new bike. He’s a darling, ain’t he? :D
My new baby!
Peik Lean Y.
I am now fully equipped to go biking!
Unfortunately, the next morning dawned cloudy and rainy. And it rained and rained and rained. Thus the trip was cancelled. The next few attempts were not as disappointing as I did not have to get up as early as 5.30 am to have it cancelled again.
But today … well, another failed attempt! :( The only male member in today’s riding trip is down with a sore throat and had to opt out. After hearing all the scary stories about women biking on their own, we decided to call it off again until we get more male muscle to join the trip. Sigh! At this rate, I fear my bike is gonna be another white elephant.
Oh well, what the mind can conceive, the body can achieve. I just have to keep bugging my siau friends to fulfil this part of the bargain. Hahahaha …
Dang! And it’s such a beautiful looking morning too!
Sometime back, a few of the siau gang considered going on a cross country road bike (as in bicycle) tour later in the year. Needless to say, I was tempted.
Nevermind that I didn’t own a bike.
Nevermind that I might not have enough leave to go on a cross country road tour.
Nevermind that I am not an RPM fan in the gym and that those who are planning to go are either RPM instructors or RPM hardcore riders.
(Note: To the uninitiated, RPM is a cardio class offered in the gym where one spends 45 minutes on a stationary bike simulating hill rides and races.)
“After all, what the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.” Yeah! Yeah! Will have to relook at this quote later. :P
Just a couple of weeks back, the siau gang decided that the first trial would be to cycle to Port Dickson and back. Now, that is over 100kms one way. I was sceptical. First attempt for a non RPM goer and a non biker. That’s like committing physical suicide! :p It’s a little over the top even for me. So, we decided to go on a short trial ride to Bukit Jalil and back. I am told that it’s about 20kms but I stand corrected.
And thus, a couple of weeks back, I went to a bike shop to borrow a bike to go riding with these siau friends of mine the next day. The guy at the shop took one look at me and said that he did not have a bike my size on loan. Ehhh … to the unitiated, a bike my size would mean a smaller frame. After all, not everyone is born to be more than 5.5 footers!
What to do? No bike and I desperately wanted to try biking again. My first attempt was in 2002 and I have been considering this sport ever since. However, I resisted as I did not want another “white elephant” in my “closet”.
I digress. In any case, I made a rash decision and bought a spunky new bike! I blew RM1,300 on it and another RM470 on accessories. Yup! Rash decision it was. But look at my spunky new bike. He’s a darling, ain’t he? :D
My new baby!
Peik Lean Y.
I am now fully equipped to go biking!
Unfortunately, the next morning dawned cloudy and rainy. And it rained and rained and rained. Thus the trip was cancelled. The next few attempts were not as disappointing as I did not have to get up as early as 5.30 am to have it cancelled again.
But today … well, another failed attempt! :( The only male member in today’s riding trip is down with a sore throat and had to opt out. After hearing all the scary stories about women biking on their own, we decided to call it off again until we get more male muscle to join the trip. Sigh! At this rate, I fear my bike is gonna be another white elephant.
Oh well, what the mind can conceive, the body can achieve. I just have to keep bugging my siau friends to fulfil this part of the bargain. Hahahaha …
Dang! And it’s such a beautiful looking morning too!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
When ignorance is not bliss!!!
Warning: This post is neither politically correct nor diplomatically written. It may be offensive to some and vulgar to others. Therefore, read at your own peril. If you can’t take it, ditch it!
Safe sex and preventive measures ~ who is responsible? Do we even know what that entails?
Recently, a friend broached the subject and I was a little shock at her ignorance and blind trust. She left it entirely to her boyfriend to take care of the matter. (As the relationship has only recently developed and he is rather the dark horse, there was some cause for concern.) He told her that she would be safe as long as he ejaculates outside her womb. As she was told the same thing by another friend, she felt safe. I was appalled.
In this time and age, pregnancy is only one concern; the other concern is the number of diseases a person can contract if her lover had indiscriminate sex prior to that. Thus, it is important to at least try to find out where his “dipstick” had … well, dipped. Otherwise, check if he had a recent health check and been pronounced “clean” by the doc. Ultimately, if all else fails and one must still get on with it, then using a prophylactic would likely be the safest.
Ejaculation outside the womb at the end does not mean that leakage would not happen while in the process. And to paraphrase the following line “a single drop of water and the desert blooms”, well we could literally say “a sheer drop of semen and your womb blooms!” Dramatic as that might sound, it is always better to be safe than sorry. There is a Cantonese saying that is very appropriate, “mmm pah yat maan, hai pah maan yat!” Translated, it means “fear not of the 10,000 consequences but be fearful of that ONE out of the 10,000 consequences!”
Being a woman is no excuse to be ignorant about sex and its consequences. It is no excuse for women to leave the preventive measures solely to men. Because ultimately, the person who stands to lose the most is the woman.
Sex education … It’s no more a matter of should we or should we not. It’s a matter of when. It’s appalling how ignorant we are and that is not limited to teens. Being pious and religious is no excuse to be ignorant. Being part of the decision makers on education and censorship policies is no excuse to bury our heads in the sand like an ostrich. We could no longer pretend that if we do not talk about sex, write about sex, watch sexual acts and teach about sex, we would not have sex! Just like if we do not teach the young preventive measures, they would not have sex! Ridiculous as that may sound, that’s precisely what the actions taken by certain powers that be are propagating.
But the power is in our hands; especially when it concerns our ultimate well-being. Do not leave it to others to dictate our own safety because ultimately, ignorance is NOT bliss!
Safe sex and preventive measures ~ who is responsible? Do we even know what that entails?
Recently, a friend broached the subject and I was a little shock at her ignorance and blind trust. She left it entirely to her boyfriend to take care of the matter. (As the relationship has only recently developed and he is rather the dark horse, there was some cause for concern.) He told her that she would be safe as long as he ejaculates outside her womb. As she was told the same thing by another friend, she felt safe. I was appalled.
In this time and age, pregnancy is only one concern; the other concern is the number of diseases a person can contract if her lover had indiscriminate sex prior to that. Thus, it is important to at least try to find out where his “dipstick” had … well, dipped. Otherwise, check if he had a recent health check and been pronounced “clean” by the doc. Ultimately, if all else fails and one must still get on with it, then using a prophylactic would likely be the safest.
Ejaculation outside the womb at the end does not mean that leakage would not happen while in the process. And to paraphrase the following line “a single drop of water and the desert blooms”, well we could literally say “a sheer drop of semen and your womb blooms!” Dramatic as that might sound, it is always better to be safe than sorry. There is a Cantonese saying that is very appropriate, “mmm pah yat maan, hai pah maan yat!” Translated, it means “fear not of the 10,000 consequences but be fearful of that ONE out of the 10,000 consequences!”
Being a woman is no excuse to be ignorant about sex and its consequences. It is no excuse for women to leave the preventive measures solely to men. Because ultimately, the person who stands to lose the most is the woman.
Sex education … It’s no more a matter of should we or should we not. It’s a matter of when. It’s appalling how ignorant we are and that is not limited to teens. Being pious and religious is no excuse to be ignorant. Being part of the decision makers on education and censorship policies is no excuse to bury our heads in the sand like an ostrich. We could no longer pretend that if we do not talk about sex, write about sex, watch sexual acts and teach about sex, we would not have sex! Just like if we do not teach the young preventive measures, they would not have sex! Ridiculous as that may sound, that’s precisely what the actions taken by certain powers that be are propagating.
But the power is in our hands; especially when it concerns our ultimate well-being. Do not leave it to others to dictate our own safety because ultimately, ignorance is NOT bliss!
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Dad & Mom, I have not said “thank you” enough.
A recent event triggered this post. How often do we take our parents for granted? And yet do we realise how often their actions have our best interests at heart; whether we appreciate it or not?
Sometime last year, we decided to purchase a new car for our parents. We felt we are financially stable enough to withstand paying off another loan and since this one would be shared among the three of us, we encouraged our parents to get a better car. Suffice to say they started to worry that this purchase would be a huge burden to us, even before they placed a booking.
After some nagging, they finally took the plunge. But then we discovered yesterday that when they calculated the repayment value, they included a portion to be paid off by them. When asked why, mom replied, “Your dad and I feel guilty about burdening all of you with a huge loan repayment. You have other responsibilities and commitments.”
Consider this; my parents were the ones who helped us get started when we first graduated by paying a large down payment for our first cars. And now, they who are pensioners and are getting a monthly pittance from the government are willing to fork out money to pay a portion to lighten our supposed financial burden. I am humbled by that thought. Suffice to say, we talked them out of that hare brain scheme.
Looking back, there have been so many instances in our lives that they have sacrificed and influenced. If not for them, I might not have developed a love for reading which has allowed me to explore a whole new world. If not for them, I might not have known and appreciated the value of money. If not for them, I might not have learnt that there are values that one just can’t compromise. If not for them, I would not have challenged the status quo and pushed the limits of acceptance.
My parents brought us up on a government servant salary and while we have no trappings of great wealth, we grew up relatively comfortable, psychologically well-balanced and physically healthy. We are no rags-to-riches story but I am thankful to my parents because their influences have shaped my past and present, and they will hold me in good stead to face the future.
How often would you venture that our parents’ thoughts and worries are for us? How often do we show our appreciation in return? How often do we put their interests at heart? My struggle has always been to maintain a balance between what I want to achieve and what they need, and that has not been easy. Because when we get down to the bottom of it, all they ask for is our time and our presence. Is that too much to ask for? Probably not.
Dad & Mom, thank you and I am trying.
Sometime last year, we decided to purchase a new car for our parents. We felt we are financially stable enough to withstand paying off another loan and since this one would be shared among the three of us, we encouraged our parents to get a better car. Suffice to say they started to worry that this purchase would be a huge burden to us, even before they placed a booking.
After some nagging, they finally took the plunge. But then we discovered yesterday that when they calculated the repayment value, they included a portion to be paid off by them. When asked why, mom replied, “Your dad and I feel guilty about burdening all of you with a huge loan repayment. You have other responsibilities and commitments.”
Consider this; my parents were the ones who helped us get started when we first graduated by paying a large down payment for our first cars. And now, they who are pensioners and are getting a monthly pittance from the government are willing to fork out money to pay a portion to lighten our supposed financial burden. I am humbled by that thought. Suffice to say, we talked them out of that hare brain scheme.
Looking back, there have been so many instances in our lives that they have sacrificed and influenced. If not for them, I might not have developed a love for reading which has allowed me to explore a whole new world. If not for them, I might not have known and appreciated the value of money. If not for them, I might not have learnt that there are values that one just can’t compromise. If not for them, I would not have challenged the status quo and pushed the limits of acceptance.
My parents brought us up on a government servant salary and while we have no trappings of great wealth, we grew up relatively comfortable, psychologically well-balanced and physically healthy. We are no rags-to-riches story but I am thankful to my parents because their influences have shaped my past and present, and they will hold me in good stead to face the future.
How often would you venture that our parents’ thoughts and worries are for us? How often do we show our appreciation in return? How often do we put their interests at heart? My struggle has always been to maintain a balance between what I want to achieve and what they need, and that has not been easy. Because when we get down to the bottom of it, all they ask for is our time and our presence. Is that too much to ask for? Probably not.
Dad & Mom, thank you and I am trying.
Of Gay and Lesbian relationships
There have been many conversations centred on gay and lesbian relationships (especially gay) since I met the siau gang. I could only accord the interest to several reasons. One, since we joined the gym, we have been exposed to a large number of gays who seemed quite obvious and open about their sexual preferences. Two, it is human nature to be curious about things we do not know and cannot comprehend. Three, the gang is curious enough to engage in open conversations on these relationships. When we say we are ok with these relationships, are we truly accepting them or are we merely paying lip service? After all, talk is cheap but do we walk the talk?
Two years ago, I was in London on a project which stretched over two weekends. Coincidentally, I spent one weekend with a gay friend and his partner, and the subsequent weekend with a lesbian friend and her partner. In my mind, I have never referred to them as that gay friend or that lesbian friend. They are just good friends of mine who have moved to live in a country that is more accepting of their sexual preferences and way of life. They have never made me uncomfortable before regarding their sexual preferences.
In any case, it was in London that I first spent more than a few hours in the presence of gay and lesbian couples. It was truly an eye opener. Knowing something about your friend is one thing. Seeing that something in action is an entirely different experience. There were no obvious moves but like any normal couple, there was a lingering touch here and an intimate look there.
The nature of these relationships truly hit home when during a conversation regarding my lesbian friend’s ex-husband (She once tried to lead a normal life; i.e. acquired a husband and the whole works but it didn’t work out!), her partner laughingly said, “But he has something that she doesn’t want.” The obvious reference to the male anatomy was not lost on me. And the seemingly innocuous remark stopped me in mid conversation for a few moments as I quickly recollected my thoughts. I hope I looked sufficiently blasé and did not gape like a fish. :p
The second incident was at the gay couple’s residence. We were watching a movie when a bed scene of a heterosexual couple appeared. The “female” gay partner suddenly remarked, “Look at those hanging boobs! It’s so disgusting!” And he promptly changed the channel. I was stunned for a moment and suddenly felt so inadequate about having boobs. Thinking back, it was hilarious. I was at a total lost for words and at that moment, I wished the earth would open up and swallow me whole.
My point, it is easy to say that we accept gay and lesbian relationships but when faced with the reality of those relationships, it is more difficult to handle and accept them. One of the siau gang recently caught the movie “Brokeback Mountain” and her comment was that she was uncomfortable with the scenes between the two gay lovers although these were only kissing scenes and there was no humping and pumping. She wanted to pass me the DVD but I was reluctant to take it. I told her that it’s because I couldn’t bear to watch such a manly guy like Heath Ledger playing a gay role. But could it be that I am, unconsciously, unable to accept such a relationship? Hmmm ….
I remembered watching “As Is”, a theatre production on a gay relationship, between characters played by Jit Murad and Zahim Albakri, more than a decade ago. It was a very controversial piece at a time when gay and lesbian relationships were not publicly discussed and HIV/ AIDS were universally feared. But it was a wonderful piece of work that probably changed some of my outlook on these relationships. A review of this play which was performed in another country can be found here.
I have walked through an entire emotional roller coaster with a friend who had to decide between conforming to norm by sticking to a heterosexual relationship or throwing caution to the winds and following her heart. It was no easy choice for her at that time and love is love irregardless of whether the relationship is hetero or homosexual. It doesn’t make watching her pain then any less real. And it doesn’t make watching her happiness now any less joyful. How then can I object to or censure such a relationship?
Yet having gone through all these experiences, I am still unsure of where I stand. A part of me (that part which was brought up in a convent school and was used to conforming to society) would like to take the moral high ground by saying that this is not normal! Another part of me (the one that has travelled much and had gone through that emotional roller coaster with a friend) feels compelled to defend these relationships. After all, they can’t help their sexual preferences.
Or can they?
I shall leave the morality issues to those who think they know better; because I know not. All I can do is to sigh with regret when I am told that a delicious-looking man that I have been eyeing is gay.
“Nothing that looks that good is straight!” A friend told me repeatedly.
Darn! Putus steam saje! And another one bites the dust! Life is tough. Not only are our choices dwindling fast but we have to “fight off” the womenfolk as well as the men folk. Who says life is fair? But despite all these trials and tribulations, I shall still stick to my personal motto, “a plug must go with a socket”! Hahaha …
Have a good day ahead!
Two years ago, I was in London on a project which stretched over two weekends. Coincidentally, I spent one weekend with a gay friend and his partner, and the subsequent weekend with a lesbian friend and her partner. In my mind, I have never referred to them as that gay friend or that lesbian friend. They are just good friends of mine who have moved to live in a country that is more accepting of their sexual preferences and way of life. They have never made me uncomfortable before regarding their sexual preferences.
In any case, it was in London that I first spent more than a few hours in the presence of gay and lesbian couples. It was truly an eye opener. Knowing something about your friend is one thing. Seeing that something in action is an entirely different experience. There were no obvious moves but like any normal couple, there was a lingering touch here and an intimate look there.
The nature of these relationships truly hit home when during a conversation regarding my lesbian friend’s ex-husband (She once tried to lead a normal life; i.e. acquired a husband and the whole works but it didn’t work out!), her partner laughingly said, “But he has something that she doesn’t want.” The obvious reference to the male anatomy was not lost on me. And the seemingly innocuous remark stopped me in mid conversation for a few moments as I quickly recollected my thoughts. I hope I looked sufficiently blasé and did not gape like a fish. :p
The second incident was at the gay couple’s residence. We were watching a movie when a bed scene of a heterosexual couple appeared. The “female” gay partner suddenly remarked, “Look at those hanging boobs! It’s so disgusting!” And he promptly changed the channel. I was stunned for a moment and suddenly felt so inadequate about having boobs. Thinking back, it was hilarious. I was at a total lost for words and at that moment, I wished the earth would open up and swallow me whole.
My point, it is easy to say that we accept gay and lesbian relationships but when faced with the reality of those relationships, it is more difficult to handle and accept them. One of the siau gang recently caught the movie “Brokeback Mountain” and her comment was that she was uncomfortable with the scenes between the two gay lovers although these were only kissing scenes and there was no humping and pumping. She wanted to pass me the DVD but I was reluctant to take it. I told her that it’s because I couldn’t bear to watch such a manly guy like Heath Ledger playing a gay role. But could it be that I am, unconsciously, unable to accept such a relationship? Hmmm ….
I remembered watching “As Is”, a theatre production on a gay relationship, between characters played by Jit Murad and Zahim Albakri, more than a decade ago. It was a very controversial piece at a time when gay and lesbian relationships were not publicly discussed and HIV/ AIDS were universally feared. But it was a wonderful piece of work that probably changed some of my outlook on these relationships. A review of this play which was performed in another country can be found here.
I have walked through an entire emotional roller coaster with a friend who had to decide between conforming to norm by sticking to a heterosexual relationship or throwing caution to the winds and following her heart. It was no easy choice for her at that time and love is love irregardless of whether the relationship is hetero or homosexual. It doesn’t make watching her pain then any less real. And it doesn’t make watching her happiness now any less joyful. How then can I object to or censure such a relationship?
Yet having gone through all these experiences, I am still unsure of where I stand. A part of me (that part which was brought up in a convent school and was used to conforming to society) would like to take the moral high ground by saying that this is not normal! Another part of me (the one that has travelled much and had gone through that emotional roller coaster with a friend) feels compelled to defend these relationships. After all, they can’t help their sexual preferences.
Or can they?
I shall leave the morality issues to those who think they know better; because I know not. All I can do is to sigh with regret when I am told that a delicious-looking man that I have been eyeing is gay.
“Nothing that looks that good is straight!” A friend told me repeatedly.
Darn! Putus steam saje! And another one bites the dust! Life is tough. Not only are our choices dwindling fast but we have to “fight off” the womenfolk as well as the men folk. Who says life is fair? But despite all these trials and tribulations, I shall still stick to my personal motto, “a plug must go with a socket”! Hahaha …
Have a good day ahead!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
YES! I DID IT AGAIN!
OK. Confession time. Part of the reason I was Missing In Action for so long was because I was also on vacation recently. And yes, I was up in the mountains seeking for my muse, my inspiration and another triumphant tale to tell.
Three years ago in May, a group of friends and I climbed Mount Kinabalu via Timpohon Gate, and we (the whole group) emerged triumphant.
A week plus ago, another group of friends and I climbed the mountain again, this time via Mersilau Trail. And this group too made it to the top!
Mount Kinabalu, the highest mountain in South East Asia, @ 4,095m! Three years might have passed, but the beauty of the mountain has not changed. Below are pictures from both occassions.
The journey up Mount Kinabalu via the Mersilau Trail, a week plus ago
Water falls found along the trail
Streams found along the trail
Bonsai Trees or Sayat-sayat along the trail
The Mersilau Trail joins the Timpohon Trail
about 2km before Laban Rata
Laban Rata
South Peak
At Low's Peak
Low's Gully
The journey up Mount Kinabalu via Timpohon Gate, three years ago
Sunrise at Low's Peak
At Low's Peak
St John's Peak
Three years ago in May, a group of friends and I climbed Mount Kinabalu via Timpohon Gate, and we (the whole group) emerged triumphant.
A week plus ago, another group of friends and I climbed the mountain again, this time via Mersilau Trail. And this group too made it to the top!
Mount Kinabalu, the highest mountain in South East Asia, @ 4,095m! Three years might have passed, but the beauty of the mountain has not changed. Below are pictures from both occassions.
The journey up Mount Kinabalu via the Mersilau Trail, a week plus ago
Water falls found along the trail
Streams found along the trail
Bonsai Trees or Sayat-sayat along the trail
The Mersilau Trail joins the Timpohon Trail
about 2km before Laban Rata
Laban Rata
South Peak
At Low's Peak
Low's Gully
The journey up Mount Kinabalu via Timpohon Gate, three years ago
Sunrise at Low's Peak
At Low's Peak
St John's Peak
Time ~ those fleeting moments
I have been blog silent recently. My Slovenia account was stalled for awhile but I have just updated it. My apologies that it is slow in coming but it is after all at the mercy of my muse and of course, time!
Truly, being busy is only part of the reason that blogging has almost come to a halt. The other reason is that blogging has lost its initial lustre. More and more, I find myself struggling to prioritise my time between work, activities and the people who matter in my life. I wonder if it is only me that has this problem. Perhaps I am totally hopeless at time management.
Time flies, doesn’t it?
I just found out that an ex boss of mine has been posted to Taiwan. I have not met him for years. We have been talking about meeting up since forever but we never really got round to that. Now, he has already left for Taiwan.
Another friend called recently asking if I have dropped off the face of earth. The last I met her was just after she had given birth to her second kid at the end of last year. The kid could probably crawl by now.
How fleeting these moments are and how soon they are gone. It made me think perhaps I have not made as much of it as I should have.
How do you measure time?
I was chatting with a friend recently. His work is marked by the period of each contract and he just got into another three year project in Saudi Arabia. To him, time is measured in blocks of weeks that he gets to come back to Malaysia.
Another friend works as an engineer on a vessel. His job requires him to go out to sea for four months at a time. When he returns to land, he gets a four-month rest with absolutely nothing to do. For him, his time is measured in blocks of four months.
For me? Time seems to be immeasurable. I seem to fleet from one thing to another and before I know it, six months have passed. Somehow I find myself unable to take control of it.
Can you?
I leave you with this beautiful piece on …
Time
(from The Prophet)
by Khalil Gibran
And an astronomer said, 'Master, what of Time?'
And he answered:
You would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable.
You would adjust your conduct and even direct the course of your spirit according to hours and seasons.
Of time you would make a stream upon whose bank you would sit and watch its flowing.
Yet the timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness,
And knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream.
And that that which sings and contemplates in you is still dwelling within the bounds of that first moment which scattered the stars into space.
Who among you does not feel that his power to love is boundless?
And yet who does not feel that very love, though boundless, encompassed within the centre of his being, and moving not from love thought to love thought, nor from love deeds to other love deeds?
And is not time even as love is, undivided and paceless?
But if in you thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons,
And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.
Truly, being busy is only part of the reason that blogging has almost come to a halt. The other reason is that blogging has lost its initial lustre. More and more, I find myself struggling to prioritise my time between work, activities and the people who matter in my life. I wonder if it is only me that has this problem. Perhaps I am totally hopeless at time management.
Time flies, doesn’t it?
I just found out that an ex boss of mine has been posted to Taiwan. I have not met him for years. We have been talking about meeting up since forever but we never really got round to that. Now, he has already left for Taiwan.
Another friend called recently asking if I have dropped off the face of earth. The last I met her was just after she had given birth to her second kid at the end of last year. The kid could probably crawl by now.
How fleeting these moments are and how soon they are gone. It made me think perhaps I have not made as much of it as I should have.
How do you measure time?
I was chatting with a friend recently. His work is marked by the period of each contract and he just got into another three year project in Saudi Arabia. To him, time is measured in blocks of weeks that he gets to come back to Malaysia.
Another friend works as an engineer on a vessel. His job requires him to go out to sea for four months at a time. When he returns to land, he gets a four-month rest with absolutely nothing to do. For him, his time is measured in blocks of four months.
For me? Time seems to be immeasurable. I seem to fleet from one thing to another and before I know it, six months have passed. Somehow I find myself unable to take control of it.
Can you?
I leave you with this beautiful piece on …
Time
(from The Prophet)
by Khalil Gibran
And an astronomer said, 'Master, what of Time?'
And he answered:
You would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable.
You would adjust your conduct and even direct the course of your spirit according to hours and seasons.
Of time you would make a stream upon whose bank you would sit and watch its flowing.
Yet the timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness,
And knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream.
And that that which sings and contemplates in you is still dwelling within the bounds of that first moment which scattered the stars into space.
Who among you does not feel that his power to love is boundless?
And yet who does not feel that very love, though boundless, encompassed within the centre of his being, and moving not from love thought to love thought, nor from love deeds to other love deeds?
And is not time even as love is, undivided and paceless?
But if in you thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons,
And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
The Project
When I first started blogging, the idea was to blog about my travels. But along the way, the project died down because it was such a huge undertaking. In any case, I promised myself I shall get right to it once I completed my studies. And so here they are.
Check them out on My Travel Experiences on the sidebar of this blog. Check out my first travellogue on my trip to Slovenia.
Check them out on My Travel Experiences on the sidebar of this blog. Check out my first travellogue on my trip to Slovenia.
Monday, April 03, 2006
How to be rich?
Money makes the world go round or so it seems. Those who don’t have it wants it, those who have it wants more of it. It’s an endless vicious cycle.
In Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert T. Kiyosaki wrote “The Rich don’t work for money. The Rich have money work for them.” Which simply translates to, money makes more money. But how to get THAT money in the first place before we get it to work for us?
You might want to check out Mr Kiyosaki's book where he divulged secrets on What the Rich teach their kids about Money - that the Poor and Middle Class do not!
Peik Lean Y.
In the mean time, you could also check out the following advice from a very philosophical colleague. In all seriousness, he told us,
“Young ladies, you can’t choose your father BUT ... you CAN choose your father-in-law!!! Please do not waste that choice like me. I can’t do anything about it now that I am committed but you … you still can. So, while you still can, choose wisely!”
Ahah! That’s one way. Marry a man with a rich dad.
In any case, during an extremely "stressed out" at work period, a group of us ladies gathered and discussed ways to become women of leisure. We concluded that we could only do so if (in addition to the above) :
1) We marry a filthy rich old man who adores us and lavish tons of money on us. That could only happen if a) we are extremely beautiful and b) we are willing to become trophy wives. Then again, there are so many SYTs (sweet young things) around that one day; someone would surely supplant us in that position.
Or 2) We have a filthy rich dad who dotes on us and grant us our every desire.
Or 3) We get a sudden windfall from a filthy rich relative who has no descendants and we are the next in line.
Or 4) We win the national lottery BIG TIME and become filthy rich all on our own.
However, being practical people, we saw no possibility of achieving any of the above. Thus, we will have to settle for slogging away to earn our keep and live a humble and peaceful existence. :p
Dang! What a pity! Any one has an extra million dollars to spare? I promise I’ll make that money work for me!!! :D
In Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert T. Kiyosaki wrote “The Rich don’t work for money. The Rich have money work for them.” Which simply translates to, money makes more money. But how to get THAT money in the first place before we get it to work for us?
You might want to check out Mr Kiyosaki's book where he divulged secrets on What the Rich teach their kids about Money - that the Poor and Middle Class do not!
Peik Lean Y.
In the mean time, you could also check out the following advice from a very philosophical colleague. In all seriousness, he told us,
“Young ladies, you can’t choose your father BUT ... you CAN choose your father-in-law!!! Please do not waste that choice like me. I can’t do anything about it now that I am committed but you … you still can. So, while you still can, choose wisely!”
Ahah! That’s one way. Marry a man with a rich dad.
In any case, during an extremely "stressed out" at work period, a group of us ladies gathered and discussed ways to become women of leisure. We concluded that we could only do so if (in addition to the above) :
1) We marry a filthy rich old man who adores us and lavish tons of money on us. That could only happen if a) we are extremely beautiful and b) we are willing to become trophy wives. Then again, there are so many SYTs (sweet young things) around that one day; someone would surely supplant us in that position.
Or 2) We have a filthy rich dad who dotes on us and grant us our every desire.
Or 3) We get a sudden windfall from a filthy rich relative who has no descendants and we are the next in line.
Or 4) We win the national lottery BIG TIME and become filthy rich all on our own.
However, being practical people, we saw no possibility of achieving any of the above. Thus, we will have to settle for slogging away to earn our keep and live a humble and peaceful existence. :p
Dang! What a pity! Any one has an extra million dollars to spare? I promise I’ll make that money work for me!!! :D
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I can resist anything except temptation!
Bubble Shooter
Peik Lean Y.
It all started more than a week ago when I finally gained my freedom from the self imposed prison (herein known as "that episode" in my life). I met up with my sis for dinner and she showed off her brand new PDA. While messing around with this "new" toy, I discovered "the bubble game"!
Now, I know it's not new to the tech savvy and the "in" folks but as I did not aspire to be an "opinion leader", this toy is kinda new to me! Ya! Ya! I am a marketer's nightmare! I refused to be trapped into keeping up with the Joneses by buying all these costly gadgets which would become a white elephant in no time! :P
I digress. In any case, I started playing that game on the PDA throughout dinner. I was so hooked. I only returned the PDA to my sis on threats of dismemberment. Bleh! Anyway, being the smarty pants that I am, I had this great idea to google the game and download it on my computer. And so I did!
Thus began the journey of succumbing to temptation and getting drawn into total addiction. I have been playing that game every night and I played it till the wee hours of the morn. Every time, I would tell myself it's only for an hour, but I ended up playing like 4-5 hours! My god! I was soooo hooked.
However last night was the last straw. Once again, I exceeded my allocated one hour of play. The game was taking over my beauty sleep. It was taking over my time to blog and to reply emails. It was taking over my life! Goodness!
I finally took a huge step in prevention and self preservation! I uninstalled the game. Oh boy! Temptation is sooo difficult to resist! So far so good today. I have yet to download the programme. I best go off to bed now while my will power is still strong.
Good night Malaysia wherever you are.
Disclaimer:
The link for the game is at the top if you want to check it out. However, I shall not be held responsible for any addiction and temptation. You are on your own. Try it at your own peril! :P
Peik Lean Y.
It all started more than a week ago when I finally gained my freedom from the self imposed prison (herein known as "that episode" in my life). I met up with my sis for dinner and she showed off her brand new PDA. While messing around with this "new" toy, I discovered "the bubble game"!
Now, I know it's not new to the tech savvy and the "in" folks but as I did not aspire to be an "opinion leader", this toy is kinda new to me! Ya! Ya! I am a marketer's nightmare! I refused to be trapped into keeping up with the Joneses by buying all these costly gadgets which would become a white elephant in no time! :P
I digress. In any case, I started playing that game on the PDA throughout dinner. I was so hooked. I only returned the PDA to my sis on threats of dismemberment. Bleh! Anyway, being the smarty pants that I am, I had this great idea to google the game and download it on my computer. And so I did!
Thus began the journey of succumbing to temptation and getting drawn into total addiction. I have been playing that game every night and I played it till the wee hours of the morn. Every time, I would tell myself it's only for an hour, but I ended up playing like 4-5 hours! My god! I was soooo hooked.
However last night was the last straw. Once again, I exceeded my allocated one hour of play. The game was taking over my beauty sleep. It was taking over my time to blog and to reply emails. It was taking over my life! Goodness!
I finally took a huge step in prevention and self preservation! I uninstalled the game. Oh boy! Temptation is sooo difficult to resist! So far so good today. I have yet to download the programme. I best go off to bed now while my will power is still strong.
Good night Malaysia wherever you are.
Disclaimer:
The link for the game is at the top if you want to check it out. However, I shall not be held responsible for any addiction and temptation. You are on your own. Try it at your own peril! :P
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Old Man’s Club
Running out of ideas on what to do on a Friday night?
Tired of the endless rounds of hanging out at a “meat market”? That’s what one of my ang moh IT contractors called Beach Club and the likes. He claimed that folks go there to “trade their wares”. He also claimed to have been approached by quite a few SPGs (Sarong Party Girls, to the uninitiated).
Getting sick of watching American Idol on national TV? Need a dose of a little more excitement?
You can try the old man’s club at Rain Tree Club! For those who are old enough to have heard of the club during its heydays, yes! it is still around! A friend has been raving about this old man’s club he has joined in recent times. He said it’s the best place to de-stress and talk his troubles away. He claimed that his “old” friends there (literally old) have been a fountain of advice and good cheer.
In any case, you would understand my lack of enthusiasm when my trip to JB was cancelled yesterday, and another friend called me up and asked me to join them to chill out there. Chill out on a Friday night at the old man’s club?!!! I’d rather spend Friday night watching the hunks in the gym having a go at the weights or watching the gorgeous “Ace” belting away on American Idol. But, went there I did. After all, what are friends for if not to give way some times to hare brain schemes? : )
But enjoyed the night, we did ~ drinking and karaoke! We (my other girlfriend and I) caused a bit of a stir when we walked into the pub. Understand this ~ the club is a hangout joint for retirees and semi retirees and they are mostly men. So there! For certain, it was good for the ego and of course, one feels very young there. : ) But what is interesting is the regular patrons there. Beers and conversations flowed easily in an intimate setting. And everyone seems to know everyone else. And if they don’t, they warmly welcome you to the pub. It reminded me of the sitcom “Cheers”, where everyone knows your name.
Now, that’s the way to live after retirement! : ) Cheers!
Tired of the endless rounds of hanging out at a “meat market”? That’s what one of my ang moh IT contractors called Beach Club and the likes. He claimed that folks go there to “trade their wares”. He also claimed to have been approached by quite a few SPGs (Sarong Party Girls, to the uninitiated).
Getting sick of watching American Idol on national TV? Need a dose of a little more excitement?
You can try the old man’s club at Rain Tree Club! For those who are old enough to have heard of the club during its heydays, yes! it is still around! A friend has been raving about this old man’s club he has joined in recent times. He said it’s the best place to de-stress and talk his troubles away. He claimed that his “old” friends there (literally old) have been a fountain of advice and good cheer.
In any case, you would understand my lack of enthusiasm when my trip to JB was cancelled yesterday, and another friend called me up and asked me to join them to chill out there. Chill out on a Friday night at the old man’s club?!!! I’d rather spend Friday night watching the hunks in the gym having a go at the weights or watching the gorgeous “Ace” belting away on American Idol. But, went there I did. After all, what are friends for if not to give way some times to hare brain schemes? : )
But enjoyed the night, we did ~ drinking and karaoke! We (my other girlfriend and I) caused a bit of a stir when we walked into the pub. Understand this ~ the club is a hangout joint for retirees and semi retirees and they are mostly men. So there! For certain, it was good for the ego and of course, one feels very young there. : ) But what is interesting is the regular patrons there. Beers and conversations flowed easily in an intimate setting. And everyone seems to know everyone else. And if they don’t, they warmly welcome you to the pub. It reminded me of the sitcom “Cheers”, where everyone knows your name.
Now, that’s the way to live after retirement! : ) Cheers!
Friday, March 17, 2006
Liberation!
Fair Warning:
This is not a post on political affiliation or the fight for freedom and liberation. This is a post for my own self gratification after a 3-month long hiatus on a self-imposed prison!
Gosh! Finally the sword of Damocles is off my neck! I have finally completed my dissertation. Will be submitting it this Monday once I have it bound.
I am so giddy with relief and elation that some friends thought that I am high on marijuana or something. Bleh! It's just good old liberation my dears! Now I understand how imprisonment feel although mine is a small matter compared to the real McCoy.
I have been out of the "doghouse" since Wednesday. Had a small dinner celebration with the siau gang. I was off to a badminton game last night with my fellow MBA coursemates. Woo hoo! Life after dissertation is simply perfect! After months of no exercise, ze ol' bones and muscles are finally getting a real workout! Luckily they are not in as bad a shape as I thought. I only feel a wee bit of ache today. Hehehe ... We shall see about tomorrow. Seems like there's a whole line up of activities in store this weekend. Woo hoo! Look out world. Here I come!
Alrighty! Gotta leave now to catch up on some shopping and a combat class. It's a Fly day after all.
Good weekend ahead folks!
This is not a post on political affiliation or the fight for freedom and liberation. This is a post for my own self gratification after a 3-month long hiatus on a self-imposed prison!
Gosh! Finally the sword of Damocles is off my neck! I have finally completed my dissertation. Will be submitting it this Monday once I have it bound.
I am so giddy with relief and elation that some friends thought that I am high on marijuana or something. Bleh! It's just good old liberation my dears! Now I understand how imprisonment feel although mine is a small matter compared to the real McCoy.
I have been out of the "doghouse" since Wednesday. Had a small dinner celebration with the siau gang. I was off to a badminton game last night with my fellow MBA coursemates. Woo hoo! Life after dissertation is simply perfect! After months of no exercise, ze ol' bones and muscles are finally getting a real workout! Luckily they are not in as bad a shape as I thought. I only feel a wee bit of ache today. Hehehe ... We shall see about tomorrow. Seems like there's a whole line up of activities in store this weekend. Woo hoo! Look out world. Here I come!
Alrighty! Gotta leave now to catch up on some shopping and a combat class. It's a Fly day after all.
Good weekend ahead folks!
Friday, March 10, 2006
Demonstration at KLCC
The gathering crowd
The recent fuel price increase has proven perhaps too much for the rakyat. At approximately 2.30pm today, a crowd gathered in front of KLCC to protest the recent fuel price increase of 30 sen per litre. This is the second demonstration since last Friday although that demonstration did not appear on national TV or national news.
It was a peaceful demonstration by the rakyat holding banners in protest of the price increase. The FRUs were at the scene of the demonstration and there were press taking photographs although I suspect these were foreign press. A helicopter also hovered around the building during the period of the protest. Looking at the various banners, it was obvious that the demonstration was led by the opposition. The people were carrying PAS and Keadilan flags and banners. There was a spokesman speaking through the hailer although we were unable to hear much of what was said.
The protest lasted perhaps about an hour to an hour and the half before the crowd dispersed.
Below are three messages seen on the banners:
The recent fuel price increase has proven perhaps too much for the rakyat. At approximately 2.30pm today, a crowd gathered in front of KLCC to protest the recent fuel price increase of 30 sen per litre. This is the second demonstration since last Friday although that demonstration did not appear on national TV or national news.
It was a peaceful demonstration by the rakyat holding banners in protest of the price increase. The FRUs were at the scene of the demonstration and there were press taking photographs although I suspect these were foreign press. A helicopter also hovered around the building during the period of the protest. Looking at the various banners, it was obvious that the demonstration was led by the opposition. The people were carrying PAS and Keadilan flags and banners. There was a spokesman speaking through the hailer although we were unable to hear much of what was said.
The protest lasted perhaps about an hour to an hour and the half before the crowd dispersed.
Below are three messages seen on the banners:
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Ten things NOT to do when you are on leave to finish your dissertation!
1. Wake up at 11.30am as you are catching up on weeks and weeks of lost sleep!
2. Download and answer office emails. (You might as well go back and work!)
3. Have a teleconference with your regional bosses to settle some issues. (See comment no. 2)
4. Channel surf the idiot box.
5. BLOG!!!!
6. Read other people's blogs!
7. Chat with friends on yahoo messenger.
8. Try to figure out how strangers found your blog.
9. Watch DVDs. (OK. I have not done that yet. Just a reminder to myself not to do so! :P)
10. Get Online. (That's the start of most of the above chain of events! :P)
Alrighty! I better get back to the dreaded "thang"! Don't think I can stand much of this self imposed exile. Will surface later if I actually get some work done!
Ciao. Good day Malaysia!
2. Download and answer office emails. (You might as well go back and work!)
3. Have a teleconference with your regional bosses to settle some issues. (See comment no. 2)
4. Channel surf the idiot box.
5. BLOG!!!!
6. Read other people's blogs!
7. Chat with friends on yahoo messenger.
8. Try to figure out how strangers found your blog.
9. Watch DVDs. (OK. I have not done that yet. Just a reminder to myself not to do so! :P)
10. Get Online. (That's the start of most of the above chain of events! :P)
Alrighty! I better get back to the dreaded "thang"! Don't think I can stand much of this self imposed exile. Will surface later if I actually get some work done!
Ciao. Good day Malaysia!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
I want to thank ... blah blah blah blah
Have you ever been put in the spotlight and suddenly your memory draws a blank and you can think of nothing witty to say? Have you ever wished that you are able to woo your audience with such eloquence? Have you ever dreamed of being witty, funny and serious all at once? Have you ever wanted to be able to say so much with so little?
For me, yes to all the above!
And that's what I love about watching the Oscars. It can be a pain watching speech after boring speech after boring speech ... zzzzz. But once in a while, you catch a glimpse of such eloquence and brilliance, that touches not just your mind, but your heart as well.
Tonight, what stood out for me were two speeches. One by George Clooney and the other by Ang Lee.
George's speech encompassed the three ingredients that I wish I could have made so effortlessly as he seemed to have done. He managed to sound witty, funny and serious all at the same time. The following is an excerpt from his speech.
The part that drew the chuckles ...
"Wow. Wow. All right, so I'm not winning director. It's the funny thing about winning an Academy Award, it will always be synonymous with your name from here on in. It will be Oscar winner, George Clooney. Sexiest Man Alive, 1997."
The part that made one feel proud to be a part of Hollywood ...
"And finally, I would say that, you know, we are a little bit out of touch in Hollywood every once in a while. I think it's probably a good thing. We're the ones who talk about AIDS when it was just being whispered, and we talked about civil rights when it wasn't really popular. And we, you know, we bring up subjects. This Academy, this group of people gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theaters. I'm proud to be a part of this Academy. Proud to be part of this community, and proud to be out of touch."
And as for Ang Lee, I have only the deepest respect for him ~ to be able not only to cross the racial and cultural divide, but to be able to direct a movie that has nothing to do with his Asian upbringing. Here, I am talking about the cowboy and the gay bits. Although if we consider deeper, love is universal. And despite all the countroversy of gay cowboys, Brokeback Mountain is first and foremost a beautiful love story.
Despite and in spite of all his achievements, it's a pleasure to hear Ang Lee speak as he still managed to come across as that humble Chinese man. In the words of a friend, "... the really great thing about Ang Lee is that you can still see him as that Ah Pek sitting at the Kopitiam"!
And his speech is equally eloquent. The following is an excerpt that I like.
"First of all, i want to thank two people who don't even exist. Or I should say, they do exist, because of the imagination of Annie Proulx and the artistry of Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. Their names are Ennis and Jack. And they taught all of us who made "Brokeback Mountain" so much about not just all the gay men and women whose love is denied by society, but just as important, the greatness of love itself. Thank you."
Here's to great speeches and public eloquence. May I be bestowed with them from herein onwards! :)
For me, yes to all the above!
And that's what I love about watching the Oscars. It can be a pain watching speech after boring speech after boring speech ... zzzzz. But once in a while, you catch a glimpse of such eloquence and brilliance, that touches not just your mind, but your heart as well.
Tonight, what stood out for me were two speeches. One by George Clooney and the other by Ang Lee.
George's speech encompassed the three ingredients that I wish I could have made so effortlessly as he seemed to have done. He managed to sound witty, funny and serious all at the same time. The following is an excerpt from his speech.
The part that drew the chuckles ...
"Wow. Wow. All right, so I'm not winning director. It's the funny thing about winning an Academy Award, it will always be synonymous with your name from here on in. It will be Oscar winner, George Clooney. Sexiest Man Alive, 1997."
The part that made one feel proud to be a part of Hollywood ...
"And finally, I would say that, you know, we are a little bit out of touch in Hollywood every once in a while. I think it's probably a good thing. We're the ones who talk about AIDS when it was just being whispered, and we talked about civil rights when it wasn't really popular. And we, you know, we bring up subjects. This Academy, this group of people gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theaters. I'm proud to be a part of this Academy. Proud to be part of this community, and proud to be out of touch."
And as for Ang Lee, I have only the deepest respect for him ~ to be able not only to cross the racial and cultural divide, but to be able to direct a movie that has nothing to do with his Asian upbringing. Here, I am talking about the cowboy and the gay bits. Although if we consider deeper, love is universal. And despite all the countroversy of gay cowboys, Brokeback Mountain is first and foremost a beautiful love story.
Despite and in spite of all his achievements, it's a pleasure to hear Ang Lee speak as he still managed to come across as that humble Chinese man. In the words of a friend, "... the really great thing about Ang Lee is that you can still see him as that Ah Pek sitting at the Kopitiam"!
And his speech is equally eloquent. The following is an excerpt that I like.
"First of all, i want to thank two people who don't even exist. Or I should say, they do exist, because of the imagination of Annie Proulx and the artistry of Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. Their names are Ennis and Jack. And they taught all of us who made "Brokeback Mountain" so much about not just all the gay men and women whose love is denied by society, but just as important, the greatness of love itself. Thank you."
Here's to great speeches and public eloquence. May I be bestowed with them from herein onwards! :)
Of "quality men", mama's boys and "Fly Guy" ...
Pardon moi! I just can't get over the NST article last Saturday on the reasons why women are not getting married ~ one of which is because of the lack of "quality men" in Malaysia! Hahahaha ...
In any case, over the Big Bang Breakfast show this morning, the topic of discussion is "what should a woman do if her boyfriend turns out to be mama's boy"! I am sure you notice by now that I am a fan of "Fly guy"! I used to listen to "Fly and Little Kev" on Hitz FM until their contract ended. Then, I tuned in to Richard and Shaz on Mix FM for the Mix Breakfast show. (Can't stand the trio of Hitz FM morning crew.) But ever since Fly FM got on to the radar, I am back with "Fly guy" again. I admit I do not quite like his song selections but I love his brand of zany humour!
Anyway, I digress. Back to the mama's boy topic. A lady caller called in with her "Dear Abby" question today regarding what to do with a boyfriend who is a mama's boy. (I believe it's a planned gig.) In any case, listeners were asked to call in with their opinions and advice. One guy's advice was to dump the said boyfriend. Another male listener said that it's ok as long as the boyfriend in question knows when to draw the line. I had a feeling that he's a mama's boy! :P
But the real kicker was this lady. She called in and mentioned that the girl should perhaps act like the boyfriend's mother so that he would like her ... etc. etc. Seems like the lady caller is facing a similar problem and that's how she tried to resolve the issue. And the strategy seems to be working, according to the lady caller! This drew a loud protest from Natalie, another zany radio personality and Fly's partner in crime! Natalie was worried that the boyfriend might start thinking that the girlfriend is the mom! Hahaha ...
But the ultimate one liner came from Fly! He said that looking at the issue of quality men here (I bet you he has read THE NST ARTICLE!!), one might just have to make do! Hahahaha ... Don't you just love this guy?! He comes up with the greatest lines! And that's why I am still a Fly fan today!
In any case, over the Big Bang Breakfast show this morning, the topic of discussion is "what should a woman do if her boyfriend turns out to be mama's boy"! I am sure you notice by now that I am a fan of "Fly guy"! I used to listen to "Fly and Little Kev" on Hitz FM until their contract ended. Then, I tuned in to Richard and Shaz on Mix FM for the Mix Breakfast show. (Can't stand the trio of Hitz FM morning crew.) But ever since Fly FM got on to the radar, I am back with "Fly guy" again. I admit I do not quite like his song selections but I love his brand of zany humour!
Anyway, I digress. Back to the mama's boy topic. A lady caller called in with her "Dear Abby" question today regarding what to do with a boyfriend who is a mama's boy. (I believe it's a planned gig.) In any case, listeners were asked to call in with their opinions and advice. One guy's advice was to dump the said boyfriend. Another male listener said that it's ok as long as the boyfriend in question knows when to draw the line. I had a feeling that he's a mama's boy! :P
But the real kicker was this lady. She called in and mentioned that the girl should perhaps act like the boyfriend's mother so that he would like her ... etc. etc. Seems like the lady caller is facing a similar problem and that's how she tried to resolve the issue. And the strategy seems to be working, according to the lady caller! This drew a loud protest from Natalie, another zany radio personality and Fly's partner in crime! Natalie was worried that the boyfriend might start thinking that the girlfriend is the mom! Hahaha ...
But the ultimate one liner came from Fly! He said that looking at the issue of quality men here (I bet you he has read THE NST ARTICLE!!), one might just have to make do! Hahahaha ... Don't you just love this guy?! He comes up with the greatest lines! And that's why I am still a Fly fan today!
Marriage? No way!!!
Now, before I continue blogging and before someone cry "man hater", let me put in a disclaimer.
Disclaimer:
The title of the piece and the piece itself do not represent this author's (meaning me) opinion, in any respect or form. It is merely an unbias journalistic endeavour to bring to this author's (meaning me) blog readers an article published in the NST last Saturday ~ which this author (meaning me again) had missed, and which this author's (yeah, me again) dear friend had "kindly" seen to "educate" the said author (yeah! me! me!). :p
The survey suggests that "women professionals between the ages of 25 and 40 prefer to marry after 30 or not at all."
Now, that is not the farnie bits yet. What brought a chuckle to my lips is the following. Get this, "...the reasons given for this: A lack of sexual desire, career priorities, infertility and a search for rich husbands."
And further more, " ...while they want their husbands to spend on them, they refuse to share their salaries with their husbands." Did I see a couple of male heads nodding or was that purely my imagination? :P
And get this! This is the statement that top all statements in the article, "women were not interested in marrying because "men of quality" were lacking in the country." Eh! "Men of quality"? Err..is the article suggesting that there is a serious lack of quality men in Malaysia? Hmmmm ...
Oh! Oh! The article did define what this lack of quality men is about. Read on! Quote: "Many men now are involved in drugs and are gay or soft." Hmmm! Influences of Hollywood in the form of Brokeback Mountain? :P
Wait! Another two excuses coming up! "Another problem for professional women, he said (he as in University Malaya lecturer and counsellor Hushim Salleh), was that men had inferiority complexes and did not like marrying women more qualified than them."
And, "Parents are now more understanding when their daughters don’t marry as they know they will be able to take care of themselves."
Hahahaha! I had a ball reading this article. Check it out at the above link. Just click on the title. True or not, you be the judge! I remember writing something along the lines of why more women are still single. Something to do with, "Why buy a cow when you can find milk everywhere?" and a friend replied, "Why get a whole pig, when all you want is a little sausage?" :P
This has made an otherwise frustrating day at work bearable! Have a blast! I now have a host of extra excuses in my arsenal waiting to be dispensed in the next CNY gathering. Three cheers for ze single ladies!
Hip! Hip! Hooray!
Hip! Hip! Hooray!
Hip! Hip! Hooray!
Disclaimer:
The title of the piece and the piece itself do not represent this author's (meaning me) opinion, in any respect or form. It is merely an unbias journalistic endeavour to bring to this author's (meaning me) blog readers an article published in the NST last Saturday ~ which this author (meaning me again) had missed, and which this author's (yeah, me again) dear friend had "kindly" seen to "educate" the said author (yeah! me! me!). :p
The survey suggests that "women professionals between the ages of 25 and 40 prefer to marry after 30 or not at all."
Now, that is not the farnie bits yet. What brought a chuckle to my lips is the following. Get this, "...the reasons given for this: A lack of sexual desire, career priorities, infertility and a search for rich husbands."
And further more, " ...while they want their husbands to spend on them, they refuse to share their salaries with their husbands." Did I see a couple of male heads nodding or was that purely my imagination? :P
And get this! This is the statement that top all statements in the article, "women were not interested in marrying because "men of quality" were lacking in the country." Eh! "Men of quality"? Err..is the article suggesting that there is a serious lack of quality men in Malaysia? Hmmmm ...
Oh! Oh! The article did define what this lack of quality men is about. Read on! Quote: "Many men now are involved in drugs and are gay or soft." Hmmm! Influences of Hollywood in the form of Brokeback Mountain? :P
Wait! Another two excuses coming up! "Another problem for professional women, he said (he as in University Malaya lecturer and counsellor Hushim Salleh), was that men had inferiority complexes and did not like marrying women more qualified than them."
And, "Parents are now more understanding when their daughters don’t marry as they know they will be able to take care of themselves."
Hahahaha! I had a ball reading this article. Check it out at the above link. Just click on the title. True or not, you be the judge! I remember writing something along the lines of why more women are still single. Something to do with, "Why buy a cow when you can find milk everywhere?" and a friend replied, "Why get a whole pig, when all you want is a little sausage?" :P
This has made an otherwise frustrating day at work bearable! Have a blast! I now have a host of extra excuses in my arsenal waiting to be dispensed in the next CNY gathering. Three cheers for ze single ladies!
Hip! Hip! Hooray!
Hip! Hip! Hooray!
Hip! Hip! Hooray!
Monday, March 06, 2006
Friedman, Kruskal-Wallis, Mann-Whitney, Wilcoxon, Spearman, ANOVA, t-tests ....
Alrighty! If you know half the gibberish I have written above, then welcome to the world of statistics and do read on ...
The last four weeks have been an exercise in frustration as I had to redo my research tests over and over and over again. I put the fault squarely on the shoulders of my statistics lecturer who taught us only parametric tests and did not teach us non parametric tests for ordinal data! (If you are still wondering what I am going on about, just google it!) In fact, we used parametric tests on ordinal data in her class which is a big NO NO for pure statisticians! What kind of education standards and lecturers are we paying for these days? Grrrr ....
Or perhaps I should put the blame on the researcher whose published work used parametric tests for ordinal data! The publisher who published his work should be blamed too! How can they publish work that use the wrong kind of tests??? What happened to data and research integrity? Makes me wonder if the research companies we hire to do consumer research actually pays attention to data integrity?!
And the worst of it all is that after all the tests and retests, my findings are still the SAME!!! Blardy hell .... four weeks of pure torture. Running tests after tests after tests and looking at the endless data. I am almost cross-eyed by now! And the results? It's the same! What the heck is wrong with this scene? Geee, can't the higher ups in the learned society simplify statistics? If it ain't broken, don't fix it! And don't invent something new to confuse the issue!
Goodness ... I don't think I want to see another Friedman or Kruskal-Wallis or Mann-Whitney or Wilcoxon or Spearman or ANOVA or t-tests in this lifetime!
Begone with thee!
The last four weeks have been an exercise in frustration as I had to redo my research tests over and over and over again. I put the fault squarely on the shoulders of my statistics lecturer who taught us only parametric tests and did not teach us non parametric tests for ordinal data! (If you are still wondering what I am going on about, just google it!) In fact, we used parametric tests on ordinal data in her class which is a big NO NO for pure statisticians! What kind of education standards and lecturers are we paying for these days? Grrrr ....
Or perhaps I should put the blame on the researcher whose published work used parametric tests for ordinal data! The publisher who published his work should be blamed too! How can they publish work that use the wrong kind of tests??? What happened to data and research integrity? Makes me wonder if the research companies we hire to do consumer research actually pays attention to data integrity?!
And the worst of it all is that after all the tests and retests, my findings are still the SAME!!! Blardy hell .... four weeks of pure torture. Running tests after tests after tests and looking at the endless data. I am almost cross-eyed by now! And the results? It's the same! What the heck is wrong with this scene? Geee, can't the higher ups in the learned society simplify statistics? If it ain't broken, don't fix it! And don't invent something new to confuse the issue!
Goodness ... I don't think I want to see another Friedman or Kruskal-Wallis or Mann-Whitney or Wilcoxon or Spearman or ANOVA or t-tests in this lifetime!
Begone with thee!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Extended D - Day
"So, the house bound policy is finally over? Can start painting the town red?" A friend called to ask the day before.
"All done? The pain is finally over?" A colleague asked early yesterday morning.
"Macam mana? Dah habis? Got it bound and handed in?" Another friend called during lunch yesterday.
"Woo hoo! Out celebrating tonight?" The text message came earlier this evening.
And a few more enquiries and well wishes came via sms, emails and phone calls. Thank you for your concern dear friends and coursemates. Guess I am dragging the pain on for another two weeks, which means I am grounding myself for yet another two weeks. Sob! Sob!
Gasing Hill will have to wait.
Nuang will have to wait.
Swimming and Body Combat will have to wait.
Pink Panther will have to wait!
Makan galore will have to wait!
Gosh! This self imposed exile is killing me! I will definitely be on a self indulgent spree when I surface from this nightmare. And why is the lyrics "who let the dogs out" keep playing in my head now? Maybe I am just going stark raving mad!
Alrighty folks! Countdown starts now for another two weeks. I hope I can survive this extension. Women are not meant to live in self imposed exile for three whole months!!! Ok la ... there were a few field trips in between but heck, it was darn few to begin with. Really! :p
Back to the grindstone. Good night Malaysia wherever you are!
"All done? The pain is finally over?" A colleague asked early yesterday morning.
"Macam mana? Dah habis? Got it bound and handed in?" Another friend called during lunch yesterday.
"Woo hoo! Out celebrating tonight?" The text message came earlier this evening.
And a few more enquiries and well wishes came via sms, emails and phone calls. Thank you for your concern dear friends and coursemates. Guess I am dragging the pain on for another two weeks, which means I am grounding myself for yet another two weeks. Sob! Sob!
Gasing Hill will have to wait.
Nuang will have to wait.
Swimming and Body Combat will have to wait.
Pink Panther will have to wait!
Makan galore will have to wait!
Gosh! This self imposed exile is killing me! I will definitely be on a self indulgent spree when I surface from this nightmare. And why is the lyrics "who let the dogs out" keep playing in my head now? Maybe I am just going stark raving mad!
Alrighty folks! Countdown starts now for another two weeks. I hope I can survive this extension. Women are not meant to live in self imposed exile for three whole months!!! Ok la ... there were a few field trips in between but heck, it was darn few to begin with. Really! :p
Back to the grindstone. Good night Malaysia wherever you are!
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Who would want to be a grown up if they could remain kids?
When we refer to runaways, the first thought that comes to mind is that they are teenagers with massive problems at home.
Why can't adults be runaways too? Sometimes, I wish I could runaway from all the responsibilities of being an adult.
I want to be a kid again. I want to be free of responsibilities. I want to runaway from my neverending dissertation. I want to runaway from the endless cycle of planning, setting targets and chasing for sales. I want to not worry if my staff is coming up to scratch. I want to speak freely without having to face repercussions or to hurt someone I love with my candid speech. I want to be able to resign at will without worrying who will pay my bills. I want to go home without worrying if the car park is going to be flooded or the walls are going to fall apart.
I want to just run in a field of daffodils without a care in the world. I want to sink my feet in fine, soft, warm sand. I want to walk along an endless stretch of sandy beach and bask in the sun. I want fly in a microlite and let the wind take me where it will. I want to set sail with no destination in mind.
Sigh! It's been a tough week with no light at the end of the tunnel. I know the sun will come up tomorrow and the world will be well again.
But tonight, ... tonight, I just want to wallow. I want to runaway from being an adult. Anyone care to join me???
Goodnight Malaysia whoever you are!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
“Trust me with my sms dear …”
Caught over compromising messages via sms and messaging services … Looks like technology is the cause of social ills and relationship break ups these days! It’s probably not that people cheat more these days but perhaps it’s easier to trace the cheat??! :p I wonder what they use in the Stone Age days. Compromising messages via smoke signals? Hmmmm … now THAT would be a sight to behold! Hahahaha …
In any case, the gist of yesterdays’ topic over the Big Bang Breakfast show was how much do you trust your spouse or partner with their sms? One listener claimed that his relationship broke up because he accidentally read his girlfriend’s sms one day and the supposed “god brother” of his girlfriend (with whom she spent a lot of time with) left the following text message, “Good night. I love you.” And, as they say in the theatres, the rest was history.
This reminds me of an incident with an ex-colleague. He was cheating on his wife and was caught with his “pants” down (figuratively speaking) when his love interest decided to text message him at all hours of the day and NIGHT! Now, can you imagine your boyfriend’s or husband’s handphone beeping at 2 in the morning? Not one or two nights but for several nights in a row. Even a stupid wife would be suspicious, wouldn’t she? And his wife was no fool. All hell broke lose and as the Cantonese saying goes, it was “look kor tai fung siong”. She “whacked” his beloved sports car. She caused mayhem at home. She “whacked” his head. She went crying to her family and his family. But who could blame her .... Ahh … hell hath no fury like a woman scorned or cheated upon.
But, but … what if the text message was entirely innocent? One lady listener claimed that her good friend (a guy) got into a huge row with his girlfriend over her online messages to him. And she (the listener) was extremely saddened by that as she claimed that the friendship was entirely innocent! So, does this mean one has to stop sending text messages to one’s friends who are of the opposite sex but are attached?
What happened to trust? What if it was truly an innocent message that was misconstrued? Would you check your partner’s text messages? And would you feel insulted if your partner checks yours?
Hmm … personally, I think that if there is nothing to hide, what harm is there for him/her to read the messages? After awhile, he/ she will get bored with it. But, yeah, one would probably feel as if there is no trust in the relationship. Then again, trust is a rare and precious commodity these days. To trust or not to trust? To check or not to check? It’s a tough call.
You are damned if you do. And you might be damned if you don’t!
In any case, the gist of yesterdays’ topic over the Big Bang Breakfast show was how much do you trust your spouse or partner with their sms? One listener claimed that his relationship broke up because he accidentally read his girlfriend’s sms one day and the supposed “god brother” of his girlfriend (with whom she spent a lot of time with) left the following text message, “Good night. I love you.” And, as they say in the theatres, the rest was history.
This reminds me of an incident with an ex-colleague. He was cheating on his wife and was caught with his “pants” down (figuratively speaking) when his love interest decided to text message him at all hours of the day and NIGHT! Now, can you imagine your boyfriend’s or husband’s handphone beeping at 2 in the morning? Not one or two nights but for several nights in a row. Even a stupid wife would be suspicious, wouldn’t she? And his wife was no fool. All hell broke lose and as the Cantonese saying goes, it was “look kor tai fung siong”. She “whacked” his beloved sports car. She caused mayhem at home. She “whacked” his head. She went crying to her family and his family. But who could blame her .... Ahh … hell hath no fury like a woman scorned or cheated upon.
But, but … what if the text message was entirely innocent? One lady listener claimed that her good friend (a guy) got into a huge row with his girlfriend over her online messages to him. And she (the listener) was extremely saddened by that as she claimed that the friendship was entirely innocent! So, does this mean one has to stop sending text messages to one’s friends who are of the opposite sex but are attached?
What happened to trust? What if it was truly an innocent message that was misconstrued? Would you check your partner’s text messages? And would you feel insulted if your partner checks yours?
Hmm … personally, I think that if there is nothing to hide, what harm is there for him/her to read the messages? After awhile, he/ she will get bored with it. But, yeah, one would probably feel as if there is no trust in the relationship. Then again, trust is a rare and precious commodity these days. To trust or not to trust? To check or not to check? It’s a tough call.
You are damned if you do. And you might be damned if you don’t!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Of car park floods and exterminating ants
"The car park is flooded!" I was told by this neighbour whose car was blocking the way to LG2, which obviously housed my parking bay.
Blinking hell! A flooded car park? At a new condo? What the heck! I should have known better! After living through so many freak incidents here in less than a year since moving in, one would have thought I would have become pretty blaze to all these shenanigans! Geee .. but I was overworked, stressed out and darn tired that day. All I wanted was a hot shower, warm coffee and some TLC. Looks like that ain't gonna happen real soon then. Finally, when all the excitement calmed, I found out that there was one hell of a storm and the car park became one heck of a huge shower stall. Water was gushing out from the cracks, I was told. Cracks? Gulp!
In the next couple of days, the car park was almost back to normal although it was pretty wet. Just the night before, there was a sudden heavy downpour. There I was rushing down to LG2 again to drive my car up to G level, just in case the place get flooded again! Grrrrr ... evicted from my own car park although it was a personal choice! I can't believe developers and contractors can get away with such shoddy work. And to think they sold this place as a 5-star resort styled condo. They got me good ~ hook, line and sinker. It's such a stinker. Grrrrr ... I must think of Plan B soon.
But that's not the end of the story! Not by a far shot. Recently, I noticed an increase in ant population at my condo. I couldn't understand why as I hardly cook here and do not really keep food around. But the little red ants are always around on my kitchen counter top ~ no matter how many times I wipe and clean that.
But today topped that once again! When I got home after another taxing day, I found a long trail of industrious little red ants crawling away from the kitchen counter top, down to the floor, across my dining hall, then onward to the sitting room and out to the balcony! Eeeks! That's it! I am on a vendetta. No more Miss Nice to these antsy. No siree! Call in the exterminators! Bring in the troops! But alas! I realised I didnt have any insect repellent.
BUT I spy with my little eye a bottle of "clean glass" spray. It's some sort of detergent to clean glass surfaces. I took that bottle and started spraying on the trail of ants. And guess what?!! Wonders of wonders! It worked!!! That's a handy household tip. They are all now quite dead. I usually am not so violent and gleeful over these sort of things. But dang! It felt good. Got rid of the ant problem for now. Will have to check again tomorrow. Dang! Alrighty then. Enough of whining.
Good night Malaysia, wherever you are.
Blinking hell! A flooded car park? At a new condo? What the heck! I should have known better! After living through so many freak incidents here in less than a year since moving in, one would have thought I would have become pretty blaze to all these shenanigans! Geee .. but I was overworked, stressed out and darn tired that day. All I wanted was a hot shower, warm coffee and some TLC. Looks like that ain't gonna happen real soon then. Finally, when all the excitement calmed, I found out that there was one hell of a storm and the car park became one heck of a huge shower stall. Water was gushing out from the cracks, I was told. Cracks? Gulp!
In the next couple of days, the car park was almost back to normal although it was pretty wet. Just the night before, there was a sudden heavy downpour. There I was rushing down to LG2 again to drive my car up to G level, just in case the place get flooded again! Grrrrr ... evicted from my own car park although it was a personal choice! I can't believe developers and contractors can get away with such shoddy work. And to think they sold this place as a 5-star resort styled condo. They got me good ~ hook, line and sinker. It's such a stinker. Grrrrr ... I must think of Plan B soon.
But that's not the end of the story! Not by a far shot. Recently, I noticed an increase in ant population at my condo. I couldn't understand why as I hardly cook here and do not really keep food around. But the little red ants are always around on my kitchen counter top ~ no matter how many times I wipe and clean that.
But today topped that once again! When I got home after another taxing day, I found a long trail of industrious little red ants crawling away from the kitchen counter top, down to the floor, across my dining hall, then onward to the sitting room and out to the balcony! Eeeks! That's it! I am on a vendetta. No more Miss Nice to these antsy. No siree! Call in the exterminators! Bring in the troops! But alas! I realised I didnt have any insect repellent.
BUT I spy with my little eye a bottle of "clean glass" spray. It's some sort of detergent to clean glass surfaces. I took that bottle and started spraying on the trail of ants. And guess what?!! Wonders of wonders! It worked!!! That's a handy household tip. They are all now quite dead. I usually am not so violent and gleeful over these sort of things. But dang! It felt good. Got rid of the ant problem for now. Will have to check again tomorrow. Dang! Alrighty then. Enough of whining.
Good night Malaysia, wherever you are.
Anonymity on the Net? It's a freaking lie!
Dang! The next time your fingers get lazy, but you decide to recycle something you wrote from your blog to sound witty, DO NOT DO IT! There is no such thing as anonymity on the net. Some smart aleck will surely know how to "google" and drive you up the wall with his uncanny insights of your life! Sigh!
Dang! I suddenly feel like a dumb blonde. But since I am neither a blond nor dumb (not that this episode can tell), I am feeling like a super duper dumb blonde! Talk about double whammy! Time to colour my hair again to fit the bill! :p
No excuse for moi this time since the said cybernaut have given me enough clues. Sigh! Talk about having a peabrain. I will try to blame this on the sleepless nights slogging away on the yet to be submitted dissertation and the stressful days redoing the blardy 2006 plan and trying to bring in sales. Yeegads!
To HE who pulled the wool over my eyes soooo easily, TOUCHE MATE! Three cheers! (Hip Hip Hooray! X3) Technically, I am only blogging, not answering. So there! Hehehehe ... Just can't resist announcing my final realisation when I tested google today with some of my words. It's blardy late in coming though. Dang! Larry Page and Sergey Brin have a lot to answer for.
Anonymity on the Net? My blardy foot there is! :P
Dang! I suddenly feel like a dumb blonde. But since I am neither a blond nor dumb (not that this episode can tell), I am feeling like a super duper dumb blonde! Talk about double whammy! Time to colour my hair again to fit the bill! :p
No excuse for moi this time since the said cybernaut have given me enough clues. Sigh! Talk about having a peabrain. I will try to blame this on the sleepless nights slogging away on the yet to be submitted dissertation and the stressful days redoing the blardy 2006 plan and trying to bring in sales. Yeegads!
To HE who pulled the wool over my eyes soooo easily, TOUCHE MATE! Three cheers! (Hip Hip Hooray! X3) Technically, I am only blogging, not answering. So there! Hehehehe ... Just can't resist announcing my final realisation when I tested google today with some of my words. It's blardy late in coming though. Dang! Larry Page and Sergey Brin have a lot to answer for.
Anonymity on the Net? My blardy foot there is! :P
Thursday, February 16, 2006
The Siau Gang
The whole siau gang is in this picture. Before I met these folks, I never thought that a group of people can get together and connect so quickly due to one single passion - SWEAT! And it's not an every month thingy. If you speak to the real hardcore in this group, their passion for sweat is almost everyday. And one or two mad ones sweat it out 2-3 hours a day. Talk about "weird". Hahahaha ...
From taichi to yoga, balance to pump, combat to rpm, and a few more, they are equally eager. Once I introduced a few of them to trekking and it was like Gasing Hill madness for a couple of intense weeks. The latest craze I heard are tower runs although I have been missing in action for a while now. Read in Little Monster's blog that they are now into the marathon craze.
Kinda miss you folks. But, as you all know, life starts after dissertation submission for me. Hope to join you soon. Really miss trekking, white coffee, Body Combat, Body Balance and mamak with you folks.
Also, highly unfit these days. Gotta train for the mountain! Otherwise you guys have to drag me up! :p
Chap Goh Mei Celebration
It's been a long time coming, this gathering. I have lost touch with a few of them for awhile.
I used to go trekking with a few of these folks. We spent many a wonderful weekend scoring the jungles and national parks of Malaysia. These days, many of them have hung up their trekking boots and settled down to family life. (Thus, the many cute kiddos in the pix.)
To friendship!
Monday, February 13, 2006
Love is in the Air
Ahhh …. Did you notice that the air is extra thick with romance these days? Especially with the passing of Chap Goh Mei (or what we refer to as Chinese Valentine’s Day) yesterday, and the coming of Valentine’s Day tomorrow. Did you not feel the extra pollen of love floating in the warm February air? Are you not touched by Cupid’s arrow? Did you not feel like howling at a full February moon? (Oops! Wrong script.)
The TV channels are full of love, the radio deejays talk about love, the newspapers are littered with love, and the malls are dressed in love … can it get any more cheesy than that? Makes one feel like hibernating for the entire month of February and living the life of a recluse with no outside communication. Have a heart for those who are single and not in love. I am beginning to think that February is a month that is conceptualised solely to torment us poor sots who are not hit by Cupid’s arrow. Just fresh from licking the wounds of Chinese New Year with refrains like “this is your last ang pow” and “when are you getting married?” February decides to sic Valentine’s Day on us too. It’s probably some divine intervention to give the “single and fancy free” an almighty push. “What are you waiting for? Choose, choose, choose! Stop procrastinating.” Yadda, yadda, yadda … Ahh! The injustice of it all! Why can’t February be as perfect as the other months of the year?
This is the one time in the year you wish you are in love just to get people off your back. It’s not even required that the supposed object of your affection do not return your so-called love. So long as there is an object, at least you get to talk about your “love”. That nerd in school is beginning to look mighty good looking these days. OMG! Did I say that? I think we need to take Cupid to task for his/ her lack of fair play; or else we have to negotiate with those folks who created the calendar and request the month of February to be taken out of the line-up entirely. What do you think? Would that work? … Nah! Oh well, at least I gave it a good thought. If we can’t beat them, let’s join them.
Maybe we can start by whipping out that little black book.
Simon?
I think he got married last year.
Cheah?
Err … did he not just come out of the closet about being gay?
Charlie?
THAT’s Charlene!
Daniel?
Wouldn’t that be cradle snatching?
Joe?
Ugh! That old thang?
Picky! Picky! Picky! Oh well … better luck next year.
Meanwhile, here’s a collection of quotes as a tribute to love, sweet love!
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -- Anonymous
“The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.” -- Pascal
“‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” -- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850
“He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.” -- Benjamin Franklin
“Where there is love there is life.” -- Gandhi
“We look forward to the time when the power to love will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.” -- William Gladstone
“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” -- Friedrich Nietzsche
“Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” -- Rabbi Julius Gordon
“Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.” -- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
The TV channels are full of love, the radio deejays talk about love, the newspapers are littered with love, and the malls are dressed in love … can it get any more cheesy than that? Makes one feel like hibernating for the entire month of February and living the life of a recluse with no outside communication. Have a heart for those who are single and not in love. I am beginning to think that February is a month that is conceptualised solely to torment us poor sots who are not hit by Cupid’s arrow. Just fresh from licking the wounds of Chinese New Year with refrains like “this is your last ang pow” and “when are you getting married?” February decides to sic Valentine’s Day on us too. It’s probably some divine intervention to give the “single and fancy free” an almighty push. “What are you waiting for? Choose, choose, choose! Stop procrastinating.” Yadda, yadda, yadda … Ahh! The injustice of it all! Why can’t February be as perfect as the other months of the year?
This is the one time in the year you wish you are in love just to get people off your back. It’s not even required that the supposed object of your affection do not return your so-called love. So long as there is an object, at least you get to talk about your “love”. That nerd in school is beginning to look mighty good looking these days. OMG! Did I say that? I think we need to take Cupid to task for his/ her lack of fair play; or else we have to negotiate with those folks who created the calendar and request the month of February to be taken out of the line-up entirely. What do you think? Would that work? … Nah! Oh well, at least I gave it a good thought. If we can’t beat them, let’s join them.
Maybe we can start by whipping out that little black book.
Simon?
I think he got married last year.
Cheah?
Err … did he not just come out of the closet about being gay?
Charlie?
THAT’s Charlene!
Daniel?
Wouldn’t that be cradle snatching?
Joe?
Ugh! That old thang?
Picky! Picky! Picky! Oh well … better luck next year.
Meanwhile, here’s a collection of quotes as a tribute to love, sweet love!
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -- Anonymous
“The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.” -- Pascal
“‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” -- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850
“He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.” -- Benjamin Franklin
“Where there is love there is life.” -- Gandhi
“We look forward to the time when the power to love will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.” -- William Gladstone
“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” -- Friedrich Nietzsche
“Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” -- Rabbi Julius Gordon
“Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.” -- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
Saturday, February 11, 2006
"Cogito ergo sum"
Unbeknownst to me, my friend Siew recently went into coma just before the Chinese New Year celebrations (that's another tale altogether) and woke up a few days later with total memory loss. She has since then, thank god, fully recovered. Interestingly enough, during her amnesia, she remembered enough to write on a piece of paper the words, "Who am I?"
One friend, Connie, commented that despite having no memory of her life, by those words, Siew proved that she knows she exists. And thus, Connie concluded that this episode has perhaps bring us a step closer to understanding and believing in the long and endless debate of the existence of a soul.
A "soul", as defined in www.dictionary.com, can be described in the following ways:
1. The animating and vital principle in humans, credited with the faculties of thought, action, and emotion and often conceived as an immaterial entity.
2. The spiritual nature of humans, regarded as immortal, separable from the body at death, and susceptible to happiness or misery in a future state.
3. The disembodied spirit of a dead human.
This brings to mind Rene Descartes, also known as the father of modern philosophy. Descartes suggests that there is no knowledge that can be guaranteed. He couldn't even be certain that his body was real but he could be certain that his thoughts existed!
How could he be certain? Descartes postulates that doubt is a kind of thinking. And trying to doubt that one is thinking disproves that doubt! Follow me so far? Essentially what he means is that the awareness of thought comes first. And that thought proves that he exists. But it does not work the other way round i.e. the awareness of his existence first allows him the faculty of thought because when you become aware of your existence, you have already started thinking!
Hence,
"Cogito, ergo sum" ~ or in Latin "I am thinking, therefore I exist", or traditionally "I think, therefore I am".
~ Rene Descartes
Descartes went on to suggest that humans are dualist beings ~ of spiritual minds or souls inhabiting material bodies. And these bodies are like machines and will eventually perish. But our minds live on. Our minds are immortal.
But Buddhism denies the existence of an unchanging and eternal soul created by God.
According to Buddhism mind is nothing but a complex compound of fleeting mental states. One unit of consciousness consists of three phases -- arising or genesis (uppada) static or development (thiti), and cessation or dissolution (bhanga).
Immediately after the cessation stage of a thought moment there occurs the genesis stage of the subsequent thought-moment. Each momentary consciousness of this ever-changing life-process, on passing away, transmits its whole energy, all the indelibly recorded impressions to its successor.
Every fresh consciousness consists of the potentialities of its predecessors together with something more. There is therefore, a continuous flow of consciousness like a stream without any interruption. The subsequent thought moment is neither absolutely the same as its predecessor -- since that which goes to make it up is not identical -- nor entirely another -- being the same continuity of kamma energy. Here there is no identical being but there is an identity in process.
~ Buddhism in a Nutshell by Narada Thera
Confused? Me too. Essentially, my understanding of this concept is that the mind is a series of continuous thought-moment that lives and dies and transmits its whole energy with all the previous memory to the next thought moment.
But if a soul does not exist, what is reborn then?
According to Buddhism, when life ceases the kammic energy re-materializes itself in another form. As Bhikkhu Silacara says: "Unseen it passes whithersoever the conditions appropriate to its visible manifestation are present. Here showing itself as a tiny gnat or worm, there making its presence known in the dazzling magnificence of a Deva or an Archangel's existence. When one mode of its manifestation ceases it merely passes on, and where suitable circumstances offer, reveals itself afresh in another name or form."
It's an interesting concept. But in applying this concept to the episode that Siew had experienced, does this mean that what she wrote was just kammic energy that continuously and actively lives, dies and transmits itself to the next thought process? And while she was in a coma, can we assume that the kammic energy continues to work. How then does one explain the temporary amnesia? The mind boggles with this concept. But such concept has its support in today's science, which has discovered that atoms are divisible and destructable and in the course of those processes, energy is created and passed on. How that works beats me. It is interesting food for thought though ... isn't it?
Have a good weekend while we ponder the existence of our souls and minds.
One friend, Connie, commented that despite having no memory of her life, by those words, Siew proved that she knows she exists. And thus, Connie concluded that this episode has perhaps bring us a step closer to understanding and believing in the long and endless debate of the existence of a soul.
A "soul", as defined in www.dictionary.com, can be described in the following ways:
1. The animating and vital principle in humans, credited with the faculties of thought, action, and emotion and often conceived as an immaterial entity.
2. The spiritual nature of humans, regarded as immortal, separable from the body at death, and susceptible to happiness or misery in a future state.
3. The disembodied spirit of a dead human.
This brings to mind Rene Descartes, also known as the father of modern philosophy. Descartes suggests that there is no knowledge that can be guaranteed. He couldn't even be certain that his body was real but he could be certain that his thoughts existed!
How could he be certain? Descartes postulates that doubt is a kind of thinking. And trying to doubt that one is thinking disproves that doubt! Follow me so far? Essentially what he means is that the awareness of thought comes first. And that thought proves that he exists. But it does not work the other way round i.e. the awareness of his existence first allows him the faculty of thought because when you become aware of your existence, you have already started thinking!
Hence,
"Cogito, ergo sum" ~ or in Latin "I am thinking, therefore I exist", or traditionally "I think, therefore I am".
~ Rene Descartes
Descartes went on to suggest that humans are dualist beings ~ of spiritual minds or souls inhabiting material bodies. And these bodies are like machines and will eventually perish. But our minds live on. Our minds are immortal.
But Buddhism denies the existence of an unchanging and eternal soul created by God.
According to Buddhism mind is nothing but a complex compound of fleeting mental states. One unit of consciousness consists of three phases -- arising or genesis (uppada) static or development (thiti), and cessation or dissolution (bhanga).
Immediately after the cessation stage of a thought moment there occurs the genesis stage of the subsequent thought-moment. Each momentary consciousness of this ever-changing life-process, on passing away, transmits its whole energy, all the indelibly recorded impressions to its successor.
Every fresh consciousness consists of the potentialities of its predecessors together with something more. There is therefore, a continuous flow of consciousness like a stream without any interruption. The subsequent thought moment is neither absolutely the same as its predecessor -- since that which goes to make it up is not identical -- nor entirely another -- being the same continuity of kamma energy. Here there is no identical being but there is an identity in process.
~ Buddhism in a Nutshell by Narada Thera
Confused? Me too. Essentially, my understanding of this concept is that the mind is a series of continuous thought-moment that lives and dies and transmits its whole energy with all the previous memory to the next thought moment.
But if a soul does not exist, what is reborn then?
According to Buddhism, when life ceases the kammic energy re-materializes itself in another form. As Bhikkhu Silacara says: "Unseen it passes whithersoever the conditions appropriate to its visible manifestation are present. Here showing itself as a tiny gnat or worm, there making its presence known in the dazzling magnificence of a Deva or an Archangel's existence. When one mode of its manifestation ceases it merely passes on, and where suitable circumstances offer, reveals itself afresh in another name or form."
It's an interesting concept. But in applying this concept to the episode that Siew had experienced, does this mean that what she wrote was just kammic energy that continuously and actively lives, dies and transmits itself to the next thought process? And while she was in a coma, can we assume that the kammic energy continues to work. How then does one explain the temporary amnesia? The mind boggles with this concept. But such concept has its support in today's science, which has discovered that atoms are divisible and destructable and in the course of those processes, energy is created and passed on. How that works beats me. It is interesting food for thought though ... isn't it?
Have a good weekend while we ponder the existence of our souls and minds.
A family of bloggers
Starlight, starbright,
What is that within my sight?
My cousins' blogs alright.
Starlight, starbright,
Read 'em blogs alright,
With surprise and much delight!
Starlight, starbright,
Read 'em blogs with such pride,
Cousins dears, they are such delight!
Goodness! Blow me away! I just discovered that another two cousins blog. Sorry Chris, gotta move your blog link two levels down to make way for Colin's and Clarence's. I wonder when Cheryl will get onto the blogwagon. Or has she already?
Welcome on board all. We are now officially a family of bloggers! Hooray!
What is that within my sight?
My cousins' blogs alright.
Starlight, starbright,
Read 'em blogs alright,
With surprise and much delight!
Starlight, starbright,
Read 'em blogs with such pride,
Cousins dears, they are such delight!
Goodness! Blow me away! I just discovered that another two cousins blog. Sorry Chris, gotta move your blog link two levels down to make way for Colin's and Clarence's. I wonder when Cheryl will get onto the blogwagon. Or has she already?
Welcome on board all. We are now officially a family of bloggers! Hooray!
How much longer can we keep our Chinese New Year traditions alive?
When I was a kid, Chinese New Year had felt so magical. It wasn’t just the “ang pows” that made it so memorable. It was the whole atmosphere of joy, cheer and family togetherness!
It was a time of getting together with my maternal grandpa and grandma, my paternal grandma, uncles and aunties, assortment of cousins and second cousins. Uncles, aunts and cousins whom we had not seen for ages would return from far away to celebrate the Chinese New Year with us. We would spend countless of hours at grandpa’s place with many relatives coming and going.
Grandpa’s place was huge ~ a three story house with split levels for the kitchen and the dining area; it was a wonderful place to play “pang pang” (hide and seek) and “ah chi chook”. And who could forget uncles and aunties at the mahjong table playing till the wee hours of the morning?
And what would Chinese New Year be without the adults adhering to the superstitions or “pantang larang”. (Nowadays, I see it more as keeping the tradition alive rather than adhering to superstitions.) Mom was not much of a traditionalist but she adhered to certain rules i.e. hiding the broom and no sweeping on the first day. She used to nag us for wearing black, grey or blue on the first day of the Lunar New Year. She believes that we should usher in the New Year wearing bright colours.
What would Chinese New Year be without “pau cheong” (firecrackers)? As kids, we used to light up fireworks a week before the New Year. The din of fireworks would be all around the neighbourhood. We have a Hokkien neighbour who would light up a huge “pau cheong” on New Year’s Eve to “chip chow san” (usher in the God of Wealth). When we got together with our assortment of cousins, we used to run around the neighbourhood, play “ko kuan” (gala panjang) and all sorts of games that we could think of or create. They were such perfect and carefree times.
Then grandpa died, followed a decade later by grandma and subsequently the other grandma passed on too. Grandpa’s house was sold and we started visiting uncles and aunties homes instead of gathering at one common place. The get together got smaller and smaller as years passed. A few uncles, aunties and their families from far away started returning fewer and fewer times, until a few do not return at all. We (my cousins, sisters and I) grew up and we moved on to larger cities and other countries to study and work. As time goes by, due to work commitments and other things, there are fewer people returning home or if we do, our schedules might not match.
I looked at our family get together recently and realised that it has gotten so much smaller. A few uncles, aunts and their families did not return. A few cousins were working overseas and could not return. I rushed through the New Year back home and returned to KL earlier due to work and dissertation deadlines. Although our get together was fun, the joy and cheer seemed more muted these days. The din of firecrackers and mahjong games has almost faded away. I looked at the faces of my cousins during the New Year and wondered if we would still have this get together in say 10-20 years time. Would we still gather together long after our elders passed on?
We are not kids anymore and perhaps, we do not view festivals in the same light. To some, it might be a chore to go home. To others, they might rather spend the long stretch of public holiday going for holidays. I can’t help but feel that we are losing an essential part of our tradition and culture. Would this festival become nothing more than a date on a calendar one day? Would it be another commercialised celebration; all money, no heart? Would the celebration become a mere memory to be told and retold in history for generations to come? I certainly hope not.
Happy Chinese New Year and an early Happy Chap Goh Mei to all! May the year of the dog bring you good health, fabulous luck, much cheer and plenty of wealth. And may it also bring the family together and build stronger family ties.
Gong Xi Gong Xi!
It was a time of getting together with my maternal grandpa and grandma, my paternal grandma, uncles and aunties, assortment of cousins and second cousins. Uncles, aunts and cousins whom we had not seen for ages would return from far away to celebrate the Chinese New Year with us. We would spend countless of hours at grandpa’s place with many relatives coming and going.
Grandpa’s place was huge ~ a three story house with split levels for the kitchen and the dining area; it was a wonderful place to play “pang pang” (hide and seek) and “ah chi chook”. And who could forget uncles and aunties at the mahjong table playing till the wee hours of the morning?
And what would Chinese New Year be without the adults adhering to the superstitions or “pantang larang”. (Nowadays, I see it more as keeping the tradition alive rather than adhering to superstitions.) Mom was not much of a traditionalist but she adhered to certain rules i.e. hiding the broom and no sweeping on the first day. She used to nag us for wearing black, grey or blue on the first day of the Lunar New Year. She believes that we should usher in the New Year wearing bright colours.
What would Chinese New Year be without “pau cheong” (firecrackers)? As kids, we used to light up fireworks a week before the New Year. The din of fireworks would be all around the neighbourhood. We have a Hokkien neighbour who would light up a huge “pau cheong” on New Year’s Eve to “chip chow san” (usher in the God of Wealth). When we got together with our assortment of cousins, we used to run around the neighbourhood, play “ko kuan” (gala panjang) and all sorts of games that we could think of or create. They were such perfect and carefree times.
Then grandpa died, followed a decade later by grandma and subsequently the other grandma passed on too. Grandpa’s house was sold and we started visiting uncles and aunties homes instead of gathering at one common place. The get together got smaller and smaller as years passed. A few uncles, aunties and their families from far away started returning fewer and fewer times, until a few do not return at all. We (my cousins, sisters and I) grew up and we moved on to larger cities and other countries to study and work. As time goes by, due to work commitments and other things, there are fewer people returning home or if we do, our schedules might not match.
I looked at our family get together recently and realised that it has gotten so much smaller. A few uncles, aunts and their families did not return. A few cousins were working overseas and could not return. I rushed through the New Year back home and returned to KL earlier due to work and dissertation deadlines. Although our get together was fun, the joy and cheer seemed more muted these days. The din of firecrackers and mahjong games has almost faded away. I looked at the faces of my cousins during the New Year and wondered if we would still have this get together in say 10-20 years time. Would we still gather together long after our elders passed on?
We are not kids anymore and perhaps, we do not view festivals in the same light. To some, it might be a chore to go home. To others, they might rather spend the long stretch of public holiday going for holidays. I can’t help but feel that we are losing an essential part of our tradition and culture. Would this festival become nothing more than a date on a calendar one day? Would it be another commercialised celebration; all money, no heart? Would the celebration become a mere memory to be told and retold in history for generations to come? I certainly hope not.
Happy Chinese New Year and an early Happy Chap Goh Mei to all! May the year of the dog bring you good health, fabulous luck, much cheer and plenty of wealth. And may it also bring the family together and build stronger family ties.
Gong Xi Gong Xi!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
